High Crimes but No Subpoenas

Twitler grabbed Lamar Alexander by the pussy. “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”

coward of the county

Original DVD cover

No witnesses, no evidence. So says Lamar Alexander, shithead of Tennessee. In a contrived series of tweets, he announced that he will be voting against additional witnesses and evidence, even though he is convinced that Twitler did exactly what the House managers said he did. Of course, we know the fix is in. The question is why. Here’s my theory:

Why are the Rethugs so uncomfortable with a President Mike Pence? You would think they’d rather have him than a tweeting maniac who terrifies them. That makes me wonder exactly what John Bolton might testify to. Perhaps that Pence L. Dick was up to his neck in the Ukraine scheme? If that’s true, maybe the Rethugs are really scared of a President Nancy Pelosi.

Anyhoo, Lamar will vote against witnesses and documents. Susan Collins announced she will vote yes, but we know that Concerned Susie would never do so unless Yertle McConnell assured her that it’s okay to do so, because he has enough chickenshit cult members to vote no.

From the DAILY BEAST:

Sen. Lamar Alexander came out firmly against calling more witnesses in President Trump’s impeachment trial on Thursday night, declaring “no need for more evidence.”

…snip…

“I worked with other senators to make sure that we have the right to ask for more documents and witnesses, but there is no need for more evidence to prove something that has already been proven and that does not meet the United States Constitution’s high bar for an impeachable offense,” Alexander said in a statement. Shortly before he announced his decision, Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) said she would vote in support of calling more witnesses. Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT) has also expressed support for calling witnesses, while Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AL), another key swing vote, has not yet announced her decision.

Even if Murkowski votes for witnesses, it won’t make any difference, because it’s not at all likely that any of the other dickless Rethugs would dare to vote in favor of witnesses.

9 Comments

Filed under Constitution, humor, Impeachment, John Bolton, Lamar Alexander, Lisa Murkowski, Mitch McConnell, Mitt Romney, movies, Nancy Pelosi, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, Senate, snark, Susan Collins, Wordpress Political Blogs

9 responses to “High Crimes but No Subpoenas

  1. therub

    #the trial that wasn’t a trial.

  2. Why are the Rethugs so uncomfortable with a President Mike Pence? You would think they’d rather have him than a tweeting maniac who terrifies them.

    They would. But what they’re really afraid of is the Trumpanzees hordes in their home states. Any Republican senator who acts against Trump will stir up a hornet’s nest of angry, stupid, heavily-armed cultists against him- or herself. They’d be risking a primary challenge, or much or the party base sitting out the next election, or perhaps much worse. This is what happens when (a) a political party devolves into a personality cult and (b) everybody has guns.

    So the recommendation of heavy drinking is problematic. If you plan on taking a drink every time a Republican senator bucks the party, you’ll end the movie stone cold sober. Better to take your chances with that shroom in the bottom right corner.

    Somebody should actually make MAGA cowboy hats. They’d sell like crazy.

    • I still think Pence-L Dick was up to his neck in this, and Yertle is scared to death of a President Pelosi. Lev Parnas’s attorney sent out a damning letter today, and it implicates a shitload of people. We know that Lev likes to keep his receipts, and I think he is going to uncover a huge conspiracy, and it’s going to include a large number of top administration officials. Then it’s just a matter of time before one of them spills his guts to save his own ass. i won’t change the recommendation about heavy drinking, but I might have to change it to celebratory drinks.I think the Rethugs might have won the battle of witnesses and documents, but I think they will lose the war. Yertle couldn’t jump up fast enough when Adam Schiff got done with another oratorical gem for an unnecessary quorum call. It looked and sounded like panic.

      I couldn’t believe there were no MAGA cowboy hats except for the giant gag ones when I googled. Maybe I’ll make some, sell them to the cult members and donate all the money to Democratic candidates.

  3. I think this vote against witnesses will backfire big time. If the body politic does not recognize the injustice of it, then they might as well get Trump a scepter and throne. (He probably already has designs in mine.)

    • I completely agree, Jim. Yertle can’t stop the steady drip…drip…drip of news coming out every day, and the Rethugs are going to look incredibly stupid for not allowing witnesses. People watch a lot of courtroom dramas, and they know a trial requires witnesses and exhibits, not just opening statements. This will look like another rich entitled guy not facing the same justice dished out to the unwashed masses.

  4. The song with words, “I’m going to do it my way” is the motto of all the spineless and dubious crooks of the republican party. I am pretty sure that Pence was a piece and parcel of the Ukraine deal. How could he not be? His holier than thou means nothing and he is as big a crook as all the rest of Twilter’s mafia.

    • Pence is nothing but a buffer. Rethugs know how unlikeable he and Mother are, so other than making Twitler more palatable to the evangelicals, Pence has no use other than becoming POTUS in case the KFC does its magic, and Twitler’s heart explodes.

  5. Pingback: My Week in Review | Mock Paper Scissors

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