Category Archives: Andrew Card

*Garb*age

From The Caucus at The New York Times:

At least one prominent former Bush official has the following message for President Obama: I don’t care if it’s warm enough to grow orchids in the Oval Office. Put your suit jacket on.

In an interview scheduled to run Wednesday night, Andrew H. Card Jr. told the syndicated news show Inside Edition that “there should be a dress code of respect” in the White House and that he wished Mr. Obama “would wear a suit coat and tie.”

Chimpy always wore a suit coat and tie in the Oval Office. However, there’s something that Andy Card won’t tell you…

Original DVD cover.
…And don’t ask me–I don’t know why Condi is smiling about Chimpy not wearing pants. You know me, I never gossip.
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Filed under Andrew Card, Antonin Scalia, Barack Obama, Chimpy, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Constitution, Dan Bartlett, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Karen Hughes, Laura Bush, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Senate, snark, Supreme Court, Wordpress Political Blogs

Good Riddance

Noon tomorrow, kids. The Chimpy Preznitzy officially ends at noon tomorrow. Can you believe it’s almost over?
goforzucker
Original DVD cover.
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Filed under 2008 election, Andrew Card, Barack Obama, Chimpy, Condoleezza Rice, Congress, Dana Perino, George W. Bush, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

The Blame for Plame Is Certain to Inflame

June 9 (Bloomberg) — Scott McClellan, the former presidential spokesman whose memoir says Vice President Dick Cheney may have misled him about the leak of a CIA agent’s identity, has agreed to testify before the House Judiciary Committee.


Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Andrew Card, Chimpy, CIA, Dick Cheney, FBI, George W. Bush, Henry Waxman, House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, House Judiciary Committee, humor, John Conyers, Karl Rove, movies, music parody, parody, politics, Republicans, Scandals, Scooter Libby, Scott McClellan, snark, Valerie Plame, White House scandals, Wordpress Political Blogs

Loose Lips Sink Chimps

From The Associated Press:

WASHINGTON (AP) — Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan blames President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney for efforts to mislead the public about the role of White House aides in leaking the identity of a CIA operative.

Uh-oh! This can mean only one thing. Scotty’s got himself a new nickname!!!

Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Andrew Card, Chimpy, CIA, CNN, Dana Perino, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Iraq War, Joe Wilson, Karl Rove, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Scooter Libby, Scott McClellan, snark, Valerie Plame, White House scandals, Wordpress Political Blogs

Lonesome Chickenhawk

(….as opposed to Lonesome Dove)
Donald Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, Harriet Miers, Andrew Card, Alberto Gonzales, and now Tony Snow. They have all left or are leaving. Poor Chimpy!
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Original DVD cover.

To the tune of Hey There, Lonely Girl written originally by Written by Earl Shuman & Leon Carr as Hey There, Lonely Boy, performed by Eddie Holman:

I’m a lonely guy, lonely guy,
I am so unhappy, I feel sick,
Barney won’t play ball, null
Condi’s at the mall, null
And I’m scared as hell of Uncle Dick. null

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Andrew Card, Barbara Bush, Chimpy, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, Harriet Miers, humor, Jeb Bush, Karen Hughes, Karl Rove, movies, music parody, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Tony Snow

Tony Snow in His Own Turds…I Mean Words

Faux News White House Press Secretary Tony Snow did quite a tap dance today while trying to defend Attorney General Alberto Gonazles. He said that Al Fredo did not lie about his visit to the ailing then-Attorney General John Ashcroft, but he can’t tell us how he didn’t lie because what was spoken about was classified. Huh? If it was classified, then didn’t Al Fredo and then-White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card break the law when they spoke about classified stuff in an unsecured hospital room? I’m confused, Tony!!
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Original DVD cover.
Maybe some quotes straight from Tony will help me understand.
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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Andrew Card, Chimpy, Chris Matthews, Fox News, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, Hardball, humor, James Comey, John Ashcroft, John McCain, John Negroponte, Justice Department, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Tony Snow, TSP, White House scandals

Gangs are Roaming the Halls of Congress!!!!!!

Just when you think that things are bad in D.C., we find out it’s worse than we thought!! Attorney General Alberto Gonzales testified today before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Well, I use the word testified loosely, as he mostly obfuscated and tried to dodge the questions. One area that the senators delved into was the Gonzales/Andrew Card visit to former Attorney General John “Make-the-Eagle-Sore” Ashcroft when he was post-operative and sedated in intensive care. Al Fredo finally cleared up any confusion by explaining that he, then Chimpy’s George W. Bush’s White House counsel, and Card had cooked up a big pot of chicken soup for Ashcroft and wanted to deliver it to him before it got cold. Oh, that and to have the loopy-on-meds Ashcroft sign off on an illegal warrantless wiretapping program. I’ll let The Arizona Republic tell you about it:

In May, former Deputy Attorney General James Comey testified that Gonzales and then-White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card had pressured Ashcroft in March 2004 to reauthorize the program as Ashcroft lay gravely ill in a hospital bed.
Comey said the Bush administration ran the program without the Justice Department’s approval for up to three weeks in 2004, nearly triggering a mass resignation of the nation’s top law enforcement officials.
Gonzales said the hospital visit had taken place only after the so-called “Gang of Eight” top congressional and intelligence committee leaders from both parties had told him to proceed with the program despite Comey’s opposition.

(emphasis mine)
See what I mean!! Gangs in Congress!!!! Poor Gonzy! I would have been scared, too, faced with this bunch of hooligans:
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Original DVD cover.
The Gang of 8 (clockwise from top left: Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Jane Harman (D-CA), Jay Rockefeller (D-WV), Porter Goss (R-FL), Tom Daschle (D-SD), Tom Delay (R-LeavenworthTX), Bill Frist (R-TN), Pat Roberts (R-KS)
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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Andrew Card, Bill Frist, Chimpy, Gang of Eight, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, humor, James Comey, Jane Harman, Jay Rockefeller, John Ashcroft, Justice Department, movies, Nancy Pelosi, parody, Pat Roberts, politics, Porter Goss, Senate Judiciary Committee, snark, Tom Daschle, Tom Delay, White House scandals, Wiretaps