Category Archives: Barney

Is It Out in ‘Ape’rback Yet?

From The New York Times:

There’s a proud White House tradition of cashing in — er, signing lucrative book deals — on the way out the door. That includes not only Presidents but also first ladies, secretaries of state, speechwriters and so on, all the way down to the White House chefs. But the common wisdom in Manhattan publishing circles was that George W. Bush would have to cool his heels for a while before he penned his memoir. The thinking: Bush’s low approval ratings might render any presidential tell-all a toxic asset for his publisher.

But Thursday, Crown, an imprint of Random House, announced that the former President has signed on to write a book, to be published in fall 2010, tentatively titled Decision Points. According to the publishing house, “the book will not be a conventional memoir, but instead will focus exclusively on approximate a dozen of the most interesting and important decisions in the former President’s personal and political life” — including his decision to quit drinking, his reaction to 9/11, his response to Hurricane Katrina; and how he found faith.

Well, kids, you know me–I’m a giver. And I thought that Chimpy might want some help with the cover of his new book. I’ve come up with a couple of alternatives, with a choice of different names.


Original book cover.
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Filed under 9/11, Barack Obama, Barney, Books, Chimpy, Christianity, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Katrina, Laura Bush, parody, politics, Republicans, Richard Nixon, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Al Fredo…..

Then again, let the door hit you in the ass!

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Original album cover.

To the tune of Bye, Bye Birdie, by Charles Strouse, as performed by Ann-Margret:

Bye, bye, Bertie,
I won’t miss you a bit,
You’re a smarmy,
Worthless piece of shit.

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Barney, Chimpy, Dan Bartlett, Geneva Conventions, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, Harriet Miers, humor, Karen Hughes, Karl Rove, movies, music parody, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Torture, White House scandals

The Real Reasons Turdblossom is Leaving

From CNN International:

An emotional Karl Rove characterized his tenure in the White House as a “witness to history” as he announced his resignation as President Bush’s senior political adviser at the end of this month.
…snip…
“It seems the right time to start thinking about the next chapter in our family’s life,” Rove said, his voice breaking. “It’s not been an easy decision.”

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Original DVD cover.
Maybe some people buy that story about wanting to spend more time with the family, but I say
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These are the real reasons why Turdblossom is leaving:
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Filed under Barbara Bush, Barney, Chimpy, CIA, Comic books, Dana Perino, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Jack Abramoff, Karl Rove, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Scooter Libby, Scott McClellan, snark, Tony Snow, Valerie Plame, White House scandals

Don’t Get Harried, Chimpy, Get Harriet!

With Monica Goodling flapping her lips all over Capitol Hill, and Sara Taylor not zipping up her piehole in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee (despite a magical letter from White House counsel Fred Fielding that excused her from gym for the rest of the school year asserted executive privilege), it isn’t surprising that Chimpy has said, “The hell with Laura and Barney, from now on, Harriet Miers is……..”
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Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Barney, Chimpy, Condoleezza Rice, Fred Fielding, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, House Judiciary Committee, humor, John Conyers, Justice Department, Laura Bush, Linda Sanchez, Monica Goodling, movies, parody, Sara Taylor, Scooter Libby, Senate Judiciary Committee, snark, White House scandals

She Said What?!?

I don’t make this stuff up, people! Listen to the conversation between Laura “Pickles Stepford” Bush and Ann “Is It Just Me or Does Her Voice Creep Everyone Out” Curry on the Today Show. Ann asks Pickles about the suffering of the American people due to the war in Iraq, and Pickles reassures us that, “No one suffers more than their President and I do.” Do you have any idea how much that weighs on a person when she is trying to do some shopping? Lemme hear a little gratitude, people!
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Original DVD cover.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I hear that Barney is beside himself with worry!
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Filed under Ann Curry, Barney, Chimpy, George W. Bush, humor, Iraq War, Laura Bush, movies, parody, politics, snark, television, Today Show

Better use this one before Gonzo gets the boot….

Original DVD cover.

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Barney, Chimpy, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, humor, Karl Rove, Laura Bush, movies, parody, politics, snark, television

April Fool!


The original.

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Filed under April Fool's Day, Barney, Chimpy, George W. Bush, humor, parody, politics, snark