Secreting Aging Man

Hey kids, it’s been a while since we had a song parody! I think Rudy 9/11 Giuliani, Twitler’s personal super-secret envoy to Ukraine, deserves one.

To the tune of Secret Agent Man (written by P.F. Sloan and Steve Barri, performed by Johnny Rivers):

There’s a man who needs a diaper changer,

Every time he speaks, it just gets stranger,
Rudy is his name, and he got sent to Ukraine,
Odds are, he will change his tale tomorrow.

♫ ♪

Secret envoy man, secret envoy man,
They’re mopping up your spittle, but it will leave a stain.

♪ ♫

Watch him as he’s screaming at Chris Cuomo,

Rudy’s singin’ more than Perry Como,
He just fucked up again,
He confessed on CNN,

Odds are, he’ll be on Fox News tomorrow.

♫ ♪

The Art of the Grift

From the DAILY BEAST:

NEW YORK – Anthony Scaramucci, the newly appointed White House Communications Director, has the hair and wardrobe of a stock-photo businessman, a nickname too absurd to stick with anyone else (“the Mooch”), and a fortune made from hawking high-cost, low-performance investments to ordinary people who don’t need them.

His appointment Friday may have been a surprise to White House staff. But Scaramucci landing a high-profile Trump administration job is what what a sociologist might call “overdetermined.”

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Scaramucci, Scaramucci, will you do the Covfefe?

From POLITICO:

White House press secretary Sean Spicer resigned on Friday following his disagreement with President Donald Trump’s decision to appoint Anthony Scaramucci, a Wall Street financier, as the new communications director, according to multiple White House officials.

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Writers’ Schlock

From twitchy:

Blame Matt Yglesias for setting off Monday’s torrent of fake news about Chelsea Clinton with a tweet suggesting she’s running for office, which of course she’s never said she’s doing.

You can click over there and read the collection of tweets (because I still can’t figure out how to embed tweets here). I want to focus on some of the male  journalists who have nothing more important to do than to diss Chelsea. Among them: the aforementioned Matt Yglesias, Josh Barro, and CNN’s new hire Chris Cillizza.

Chris Cillizza indicates the size of their collective weewees as Matt Yglesias and Josh Barro look on.

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Breaking News…literally

From MEDIA MATTERS OF AMERICA:

CNN’s decision to hire and pay full-time Trump apologists — supporters who are willing to go on air and defend Trump’s missteps — has resulted in some of the most explosive and viral news segments of the election. But it’s also turned CNN’s election coverage into a series of ridiculous, uninformative screaming matches that mainstream bullshit in the name of “balance.”

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Rethuglican Poo Fight

From MEDIAITE:

Many in the Republican Party considered tonight’s CNN debate a make-or-break event for Rick Perry, and he came out swinging against the frontrunner Mitt Romney, particularly on an issue close to the hearts of Texans, illegal immigration. In one of what would become a number of crosstalk bits where referee Anderson Cooper had to split up the fighters, there was clearly little love lost between the two from the moment Perry accused Romney of holding a position on immigration that was “the height of hypocrisy.”

Actually, he said the “heighth of hypocrisy.”  WTF?  There is no such word as heighth!!!!!!  (Can you tell that’s one of my pet peeves?)  By the way, Governor Little Ricky Goodhair likes to brag that he was educated in Texas.

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What happens in Vegas…

…will probably be just as stupid as what happened in all the other cities the Rethuglicans have had a debate.

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