Chuckleberry’s Joke Goes Viral

From THE HUFFINGTON POST:

Zika virus is no laughing matter ― unless, apparently, you’re Mike Huckabee warming up the crowd at a Donald Trump rally.

The former Arkansas governor and failed Republican presidential candidate mocked concerns over the devastating virus so he could take a potshot at Trump’s Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton, during a Wednesday evening rally for Trump in Sunrise, Florida.

“I’m a lot more afraid of a Hillary Clinton presidency than I am of getting a mosquito bite in South Florida,” Huckabee said.

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Silence Is Not Golden

From HUFFPOST POLITICS:

Rep. Jim Himes (D-Conn.) said he won’t be attending any more moments of silence on the House floor after mass shootings, arguing that they have become an excuse for Congress not to take any real action to address gun violence.

Himes’ tweet came Sunday night, after the massacre at Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. At least 50 people were killed in what is now the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history.

Downton Not-Too-Shabby

From The Washington Post:

The Rayburn House Office Building is a labyrinth of beige offices.

And then, there’s . . . Rep. Aaron Schock’s new digs.

Bright red walls. A gold-colored wall sconce with black candles. A Federal-style bull’s-eye mirror with an eagle perched on top. And this is just the Illinois Republican’s outer office.

“It’s actually based off of the red room in ‘Downton Abbey,’ ” said the woman behind the front desk, comparing it to the luxurious set piece at the heart of the British period drama.

Aaron, Lady Rose and Lady Mary share a giggle over the bill lowly taxpayers have to foot for Aaron’s extravagance.

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Bye Bye Batshit!!!!!

Hi kids!  Long time, no see.  Yeah, I know it’s my fault.  I wouldn’t be here today, but I couldn’t say no to Raisinette FOTC.  She asked me to commemorate the exit of Batshit Bachmann from her too-long tenure in Congress and public life in general.  She requested that I use Bye Bye Birdie and not to mention that she sings Put on a Happy Face in the shower.  OOPS!!  So let me see if I remember how to do this.

From CNN Politics:

Washington (CNN) — Rep. Michele Bachmann says now that she’s leaving Congress, she can “take the handcuffs off.”

…snip…

Bachmann had harsh words for House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), calling Thursday night’s vote to pass a government funding bill — which Bachmann opposed — the most consequential of her four terms. She voted against the bill Thursday.

She said Boehner had linked arms with President Barack Obama to avert a government shutdown without defunding Obama’s executive action overhauling U.S. immigration rules. “The cake was baked months ago,” she said.

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Good Grief!

From The Fix at The Washington Post:

Ted Cruz doesn’t care if John Boehner hates him. He likes it.

Ted Cruz is running for president.

No, he hasn’t announced it yet. But if you can tell a man by his actions […].

…snip…

The latest example […] came Wednesday, when WaPo’s Bob Costa reported that Cruz was actively encouraging conservative House Republicans to oppose the spending bill pushed by Boehner aimed at addressing the crisis of undocumented children crossing at the southern border.

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Brat-worst!

Kids, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry (Boohoo Boehner always goes with the latter). Do we celebrate the demise of Widdle Ewic Cantor’s political career, or do we mourn the fact that Teabagger fruitcake David Brat just might be the next asswipe in Congress?

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Branding Iron(y)

From THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR:

Eric Cantor, the often combative second-ranking Republican in the U.S. House of Representatives, sought on Tuesday to rebrand himself and his party, voicing hope that they can work with President Barack Obama for the sake of all Americans.

While not wavering from his conservative principles and desire to tame the record U.S. debt, Cantor expressed a new eagerness to help the needy in such areas as education, health care, immigration and moving up the economic ladder.

“Over the next two years, the House (Republican) majority will pursue an agenda based on a shared vision of creating the conditions for health, happiness and prosperity for more Americans and their families,” Cantor said in a speech to the American Enterprise Institute, a Washington think tank.

Because Widdle Ewic and his merry band of Ayn Randian teabaggers are all about health, happiness, and prosperity for everyone [insert eyeroll here].

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(From Left to right in back, top row: Paul Broun, Trent Franks, Joe Wilson. Bottom row: Louie Gohmert, Steve King)