WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The Trump administration could allow families to use federal education funding elsewhere if the local public school does not open during the coronavirus pandemic, the U.S. education secretary said on Thursday as the Trump administration seeks to pressure states and cities to fully resume in-person classes.
Category Archives: Congress
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Filed under Arizona, Betsy DeVos, Congress, Democrats, Florida, House of Representatvies, humor, Nancy Pelosi, parody, Republicans, satire, snark, television, Texas
Direct from Scott’s Bowels
From POLITICO:
TALLAHASSEE — The staggering unemployment exploding on President Donald Trump’s watch would worry any incumbent running for reelection, but troubles in Florida are injecting an added dose of fear into a jittery GOP.
Already anxious about Trump’s chances in the nation’s biggest swing state, Republicans now are dealing with thousands of unemployed workers unable to navigate the Florida system to apply for help. And the blowback is directed straight at Trump’s top allies in the state, Gov. Ron DeSantis and Sen. Rick Scott.
Filed under Advertising, Congress, Florida, humor, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs
Stunt Man
From NBC News:
A Florida congressman couldn’t mask his concern for the coronavirus outbreak.
Rep. Matt Gaetz wore a gas mask to Wednesday’s House vote on the $8.3 billion bill for emergency funding to help tackle the issue.

Matt Gaetz poses in his custom-made gas mask and tinfoil hat.
Filed under Congress, Florida, humor, Nancy Pelosi, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Surgeon General, Wordpress Political Blogs
Concerned Sue and Sad Lisa have BS all sewn up
From Dahlia Lithwick at SLATE:
Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski Think Donald Trump Is No Longer a Danger
On Wednesday, the Senate [voted] to acquit President Donald Trump of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress following a marathon few days of speeches, half of which came from Republican senators justifying their votes to acquit. Having listened through the hodgepodge of whataboutism, process complaints, and occasional outright fascism, one hesitates to focus on Sens. Lisa Murkowski and Susan Collins because their reputations as GOP “moderates” have always been more a stylist’s branding choice than reality, and because holding Republican women in power to a higher standard than men has never redounded to the benefit of anyone, including women. But when powerful women who should see through the gaslighting instead pick up the proffered gaslighting torch and set small brushfires, it’s worth taking note.
Trials and Fib-ulations
From Mother Jones:
It took less than two hours in the Senate impeachment trial on Tuesday for a member of President Donald Trump’s defense team to tell an outright lie.
Make sure your remote has a mute button!
From THE HILL:
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) said on Sunday that GOP Reps. Doug Collins (Ga.), John Ratcliffe (Texas) and Jim Jordan (Ohio) should represent President Trump in the upcoming Senate impeachment trial.
Wait, what? Now shitheads paid by taxpayers are supposed to defend Twitler? There are no attorneys in the White House Counsel Office? What about Twitler’s private attorneys…oops! I forgot that they are either in jail or under investigation because the SDNY is so jealous of him. I wonder what’s next. Will Rethugs insist that Chief Justice John Roberts wears a MAGA hat and T-shirt when he presides over what may or may not be a trial?
Surely You Jest
From MEDIAITE:
Harvard Law Emeritus Alan Dershowitz fawned over President Donald Trump having powers “that kings have never had” as he dismissed the news that Don McGahn must testify before Congress.
Strange things are afoot at the Circle-Ukraine
From Vox:
Ed MacMahon, a lawyer for Rudy Giuliani associate Lev Parnas, who faces charges of campaign finance violations, has told the Daily Beast that his client helped Republican Rep. Devin Nunes arrange meetings meant to advance the Ukrainian investigations into the Biden family that are at the center of the ongoing impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump.
Now, another lawyer for Parnas — Joseph A. Bondy — has told CNN that Parnas is willing to testify before the House Intelligence Committee about Nunes’s involvement in the Ukraine scandal.