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WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The Trump administration could allow families to use federal education funding elsewhere if the local public school does not open during the coronavirus pandemic, the U.S. education secretary said on Thursday as the Trump administration seeks to pressure states and cities to fully resume in-person classes.

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Election Confection Deflection

From MEDIAITE:

White House counselor Kellyanne Conway threw a huge pot of verbal spaghetti against the wall in trying to justify President Donald Trump’s opposition to mail-in voting, and slipped up at the end by admitting she thinks the process would benefit former Vice President Joe Biden.

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You say, “Potato.” I say, “WTF?!”

From dcist:

President Donald Trump took aim at Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam during a briefing at the White House on Tuesday, declaring his intent to “go after” the state and its “crazy governor” as he gave remarks on government efforts to support U.S. farmers.

Following an appearance from a Virginia potato farmer, the president said, “We’re going after Virginia, with your crazy governor. We’re going after Virginia. They want to take your Second Amendment away, you know that. You’ll have nobody guarding your potatoes.”

No worries. The governor can always call in Virginia’s National Potato Guard.

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Ratched-ing Up the Worry

From POLITICO:

NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. — President Donald Trump on Friday night tried to cast the global outbreak of the coronavirus as a liberal conspiracy intended to undermine his first term, lumping it alongside impeachment and the Mueller investigation.

He blamed the press for acting hysterically about the virus, which has now spread to China, Japan, South Korea, Iran, Italy and the U.S, and he downplayed its dangers, saying against expert opinion it was on par with the flu.

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R.I.P. Irony

So, kids, are you watching the impeachment trial? I’m having a little trouble doing so, because my cable company keeps changing the channel. Instead of the Twitler impeachment trial, I have seen the impeachment of Hunter Biden, Joe Biden, Barack Obama and everyone else who is not Twitler.

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After Midnight

From POLITICO:

Senate Republicans released their partisan impeachment trial resolution on Monday evening, a blueprint that could result in President Donald Trump’s swift acquittal.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) plans to pass impeachment trial rules giving both the White House counsel and House impeachment managers 24 hours over two days each to make opening arguments, according to a copy of the resolution. That will be followed by 16 total hours of questions and answers, culminating in a four-hour debate and a critical vote over whether to consider witnesses or new information.

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Send in the Clowns

Today’s House Judiciary Committee’s Rethuglican highlights:

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Strange things are afoot at the Circle-Ukraine

From Vox:

Ed MacMahon, a lawyer for Rudy Giuliani associate Lev Parnas, who faces charges of campaign finance violations, has told the Daily Beast that his client helped Republican Rep. Devin Nunes arrange meetings meant to advance the Ukrainian investigations into the Biden family that are at the center of the ongoing impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump.

Now, another lawyer for Parnas — Joseph A. Bondy — has told CNN that Parnas is willing to testify before the House Intelligence Committee about Nunes’s involvement in the Ukraine scandal.

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