Category Archives: Florida

Bottled B.S.

From Slate Magazine:

When Sen. Marco Rubio took that awkward break from his State of the Union response to take a sip of water, some questioned whether it would mean the end of his political career. Instead, Rubio has shown how to capitalize on a viral sensation—even one that made him look bad—to raise some cash. The Florida senator has now raised more than $100,000 for his Reclaim America political action committee by offering a branded water bottle to anyone who donates $25 or more.

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I have questions, kids.  For example:

Polish Spring?  What’s wrong with American Spring or, at the very least, Freedom Spring?

Is Marco Rubio a Rethuglican because he has the same ears as Dumbo?  Seriously, I wouldn’t want to stand next to him in a strong windstorm.

Does he have any other credentials other than being Cuban?

Why does Dumbo Rubio love PACs so much?  Keep reading, kids…

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Filed under Florida, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Senate, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

West Whirled

From New Times:

It seems like it’s been a while, but Rep. Allen West is back on the media circuit, this time declaring President Obama a “Marxist” and saying he’d “need a bucket” when Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s name was brought up.

…snip…

Yesterday, West was a guest of the Michael Berry Show on a Houston AM radio station and was asked to say the first thing that came to mind when Berry said someone’s name during a free-association game, telling him to be “undiplomatic and unscripted, which you typically are.”

After going through about a dozen names, including calling Vice President Joe Biden “nutty” and “mindless,” Berry called out Wasserman Schultz.

“I need a bucket,” West replied.

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Gov. Little Ricky Goodhair Gets (Ice) Creamed by Pizzaman!

From philly.com:

ORLANDO – Georgia businessman Herman Cain scored an upset win in the Florida Republican Party’s straw poll Saturday, dealing a setback to national front-runner Rick Perry.

…snip…

Cain received 37 percent of the 2,657 votes cast, more than twice as many as Perry, who made the most concerted effort here and captured 15 percent. He scraped by former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, who did not compete but finished with 14 percent.

“Folks, this is what you call momentum,” Cain, the former chief executive officer of Godfather’s Pizza and a tea party favorite, said in a video message to supporters. “The Herman Cain train is picking up steam.”

I admit, when I think of Herman Cain, I often think of certain things that steam…

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Filed under Florida, humor, Immigration, Iowa, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, parody, politics, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

Picture This!

From tampabay.com:

Is this what happens when you put a CEO in charge of state government?

Those experienced in dealing with the cranky, suspicious class known as hardcore news reporters know the best way to get journalists to do something, is to tell them they can’t — and vice versa.

So it’s hard to understand why anybody in Gov. Rick Scott‘s office thought journalists would actually accede to their request that all photos of the new governor be supplanted by an official photo they distributed Monday [Click link to see the official pic].

…snip…

The email sent to news outlets said: “Please forward the attached photo of Governor Rick Scott to the appropriate people in your organization who handle graphics, layout and design.  Please use this photo of Governor Scott, rather than any others you may have on file.”

Yeah, right!
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Filed under ACLU, Constitution, Florida, Guns, humor, Justice Department, movies, parody, politics, religion, Republicans, snark, Supreme Court, Wordpress Political Blogs

I’ll take ‘Rigging Elections’ for a few million, ALEC

From Sandra Khalifa at CAMPUS PROGRESS:

If there has been any doubt regarding the intent behind this year’s upsurge in voter ID legislation, Governor Scott Walker’s latest move leaves little room to question the conservative disenfranchisement agenda, at least in the state of Wisconsin. In what seems like a blatant attempt to lessen the accessibility of photo identification, Governor Walker’s administration has announced the closure of sixteen DMV centers throughout the state – for “economic” purposes.

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Filed under Constitution, Democrats, Florida, humor, Immigration, Justice Department, Karl Rove, movies, New Hampshire, parody, politics, Republicans, Senate, snark, South Carolina, Supreme Court, Wordpress Political Blogs

Kochroaches

From The Miami Herald:

Gov. Rick Scott acknowledged Tuesday what his staff had refused to disclose: He flew to Colorado over the weekend to attend a secretive policy retreat hosted by powerful conservative donors Charles and David Koch.

“It was very interesting,” Scott said. “They wanted basically to know what am I doing in Florida.”

Scott said he gave an overview of his agenda since taking office in January: education and Medicaid reform [translation:  screwing the poor and middle class], tax breaks for businesses [translation:  screwing the poor and middle class], drug-testing welfare recipients [translation:  screwing the poor and making money for Solantic, his urgent care centers that do drug-testing] and overhauling the public employee pension system [translation:  screwing the poor and middle class].

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The Wheels on the Bus Go Ka-ching! Ka-ching!

From THINK PROGRESS:

Last week, Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R) — buoyed by legislators who received hundreds of thousands of dollars of special interest cash — signed into law legislation that would dramatically expand access to school vouchers, which funnel taxpayer dollars into private schools. Scott is doing this despite proposing nearly $3 billion in cuts to public education, meaning that he is essentially transferring money from public education to private education.

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The Right’s Guff

From John Avlon at THE DAILY BEAST:

The cycle of over-reach and backlash is in over-drive these days—with significant implications for the 2012 presidential election. In pivotal swing-states where voters narrowly elected Republican governors in 2010—like Florida and Ohio (with 47 electoral votes between them)—evidence of buyer’s remorse is piling up fast.

The latest sign: on Tuesday, Alvin Brown became the first Democrat elected mayor of Jacksonville—Florida’s largest city—in 20 years.

Just seven months ago, Republicans swept the Sunshine State with Tea Party-backed candidate Rick Scott winning the governor’s office with a 1.2 percent margin of victory.

But instead of consolidating support by reaching out and winning over the reasonable edge of the opposition, as popular past Republican governors like Jeb Bush and Charlie Crist have done, Scott continued with his campaign posture of refusing to talk to the press. He canceled a $2 billion federal high-speed rail project and is seeking to delay (and functionally deny) implementation of an anti-gerrymandering reform ballot referendum overwhelmingly passed in 2010.

Now Rick Scott finds himself the least popular newly elected governor in Florida history. It’s not just a matter of the honeymoon being over—this looks like a drunken Vegas marriage heading for a shotgun divorce.

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