Category Archives: Homeland Security

Captain Underpants, You Have the Right to Remain Silent. You Really Should Have!

From POLITICAL HOTSHEET at CBS NEWS:

Two congressional Republicans are questioning whether federal authorities should have read alleged terrorist Faisal Shahzad his Miranda rights after he was arrested late Monday night. Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said reading Shahzad his Miranda rights would be a “mistake.”

Captain Underpants, the non-maverick, is very, very upset! So upset that he took time out from trying to figure out how to pander to Hispanic voters who are pissed off at him for supporting Governor Jan Brewer’s new racist anti-immigrant law (and how to not get arrested in Arizona wearing this outfit) to rail against law enforcement officers who didn’t act like Jack Bauer, yet still got their man. Don’t they know they’re supposed to shred the Constitution so that Capt U can look tough and win his primary? Sheesh!


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Filed under 9/11, Constitution, FBI, Homeland Security, humor, John McCain, Justice Department, New York City, Pakistan, parody, Peter King, politics, Republicans, September 11, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Brewer’s Yeesh

From USA TODAY:

Arizona‘s controversial immigration enforcement law was the target of fresh attacks Sunday as opponents, from national civil rights activists to Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon, vowed to take their fight to the courts as soon as this week.

Gordon, a Democrat, joined some federal lawmakers, including Rep. Raúl Grijalva, D-Ariz., and about 3,500 protesters Sunday at the Arizona Capitol, assailing the measure signed Friday by Republican Gov. Jan Brewer as a “racist and unjust” attempt at achieving an overhaul of the USA’s immigration policies.


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Filed under Democrats, Homeland Security, humor, Immigration, John McCain, Jon Kyl, Justice Department, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid!

Good new, kids! The problem of terrorism has been pinpointed, and the solution is at hand. From DIGITAL JOURNAL:

The ranking Republican on the House Homeland Security Committee believes one thing President Obama could do to fix the holes in the US’s air security system is to say the word “terrorism” more.
United State congressman Peter King (R-NY) made those comments to Good Morning America’s George Stephanopoulos while they were discussing specific ways in which the Obama administration could improve air traffic security measures. “Name one other specific recommendation that the president could implement right now to fix this.” Stephanopoulos asked King. “I think one main thing would be to — just himself — to use the word terrorism more often,” King responded.


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(l to r: Peter Huckster Hoekstra, Deadeye Dick Cheney, Snarlin’ Liz Cheney, Peter Hair On Fire King, Jim Demented DeMint, Dan Baby Daddy Burton)
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Filed under Barack Obama, Democrats, Dick Cheney, Homeland Security, humor, movies, parody, Peter King, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

The Price of Terror

From The Detroit News:

The Rick Snyder gubernatorial campaign took a swipe at fellow Republican candidate U.S. Rep. Pete Hoekstra today, saying he’s inappropriately using the failed Christmas Day terrorist attack at Detroit Metro Airport in an attempt to solicit political donations.

Hoekstra, R-Holland, sent out a fundraising letter today that opens with an account of the incident aboard Flight 253 and closes with this statement: “I know that as governor, my most solemn obligation will be to work every day to make sure that Michigan families are safe … Together, let’s stand up for America, and stand up for Michigan. Please help me fight by making a most generous contribution of $25, $50, $100 or even $250.”


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Filed under 9/11, Barack Obama, Chimpy, CIA, Condoleezza Rice, Dana Perino, FBI, George Tenet, George W. Bush, Guantanamo, Homeland Security, humor, Michigan, movies, parody, Peter King, politics, Republicans, September 11, September 11 Commission, snark, State Department, Wordpress Political Blogs

Law & Disorder

From The Arizona Republic:

Sens. John McCain and Jon Kyl are continuing to press Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano on the decision to limit Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s immigration-enforcement authority.

Amid controversy over Arpaio’s ongoing crime-suppression sweeps, Immigration and Customs Enforcement dropped the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office from the 287(g) “task force model” that allowed deputies to enforce federal immigration laws on the streets. (The Sheriff’s Office still can enforce immigration laws in the jails.) Homeland Security officials have said Arpaio’s wide-reaching operations don’t align with ICE priorities of targeting only “serious criminal aliens.”

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Filed under Barack Obama, Democrats, Homeland Security, humor, Immigration, John McCain, Jon Kyl, Justice Department, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Gohmert Pile (of Poop)

From POLITICO:

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.), who is about as conservative on homeland security as anybody living above ground, was on FOX last night riffing about the potential motivations of New Yorkers who actually want terrorists tried on their home soil.

He went on to provide a helpful list of potential weak spots that a well-informed terrorist — say someone who watched Louie Gohmert on FOX — might target during the trials.


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Filed under 9/11, Barack Obama, Homeland Security, humor, movies, New York City, parody, politics, Republicans, September 11, snark, Texas, Wordpress Political Blogs

Bye, Bye Bernie

From newsday:

Bernard Kerik, New York City’s disgraced former police commissioner, went to jail Tuesday after a judge revoked his bail for disclosing sealed trial information that could poison his upcoming corruption trial.

At the end of a hearing before U.S. District Court Judge Stephen Robinson in White Plains, Kerik took off his purple tie, emptied his pockets and removed a ring from his finger, giving his possessions to his lawyer before marshals led him away.

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Filed under 9/11, Bernie Kerik, Chimpy, Corruption, George W. Bush, Homeland Security, humor, movies, New York City, parody, politics, Republicans, Rudy Giuliani, September 11, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

They mean what they say….until they take it back

From the raw story:

Either former Bush officials are being pressured to backtrack, or recent flip-flops are just more evidence that they had no convictions in the first place.

In a story entitled Gonzales backtracks on support for CIA probe, The Washington Times‘ Ben Conery reports, “Former Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales said Thursday that his previous assertion that it was ‘legitimate to question and examine’ charges of CIA abuses of suspected terrorists did not mean he endorsed such an investigation.”


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Anyone else think Don Corleone Deadeye Dick Cheney invited Little Abu and Tommy Boy to go on a hunting trip?
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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Chimpy, CIA, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, George W. Bush, Homeland Security, humor, John Ashcroft, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Torture, Wordpress Political Blogs