Turtle Hacks

From PoliticusUSA:

It isn’t a surprise, but Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell kept his health care bill a secret because it is even worse than the House passed Trumpcare bill.

Original game

13 Has Never Been a Lucky Number

From CNN:

Just hours after House Republicans managed to pass a bill to repeal and replace Obamacare, the Senate is signaling it will write its own proposal — announcing a group of 13 Republican members who will be responsible for crafting the Senate’s plan.

Original DVD cover

Shhh! It’s a secret!

From The Plum Line:

A rather intriguing reaction from one of John Ensign’s Senate GOP colleagues to the news of Ensign’s extramarital affair:

“I think he will be welcomed back by his colleagues and go back to being a good senator,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham, who said Ensign shouldn’t have resigned his leadership spot.

Graham downplayed the political impact this would have on the GOP, saying, “Most Americans look at this as a personal situation.”

Graham let out a laugh and said: “I’ve got plenty of sins that I’m not going to share with anyone else.”

Sins? Well, kids, you know that your intrepid reporter (that would be me) cannot let that go without an investigation. Through my sources, I was able to obtain a photograph of what goes on when the Senate Republican are not voting no or making speeches about why they voted no.

Original movie poster.
(With a little bit of help from this poster)

Defense of Hypocrisy Act

It’s back, kids! The Defense of Marriage Act is being reintroduced! From The Carpetbagger Report:

Just this week, a group of Republican senators re-introduced the Federal Marriage Amendment to the Constitution, which, as we know, would ban gay marriage.

And once again, the language is pretty straightforward:

Section 1. This article may be cited as the `Marriage Protection Amendment’.

Section 2. Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman.’.

But the funny part is looking over the list of the 10 original sponsors. Most of the names are predictable — Brownback and Inhofe, for example — but there are two others whose names stand out: Sens. David Vitter (R-La.) and Larry Craig (R-Idaho).

Yes, two of the principal sponsors of a constitutional amendment to “protect” marriage include one far-right Republican who hired prostitutes and another far-right Republican who was arrested for soliciting gay sex an airport men’s room.

Original DVD cover.
(From left to right: David Vitter, Wendy Vitter, Larry Craig, Captain Underpants, Vito Fossella, David Dreier)

The Reel Story?

From The American Spectator ( 😮 yeah, I said The American Spectator! I am just as surprised as you are!):

The tin-foil-hat crowd was almost immediately pushing a Jack Abramoff angle to the surprise resignation of Sen. Trent Lott. But a more recent scandal brewing — which has already ensnared Sen. Ted Stevens, among others — may also be playing on Lott’s mind.

Lott, Stevens, as well as Rep. Dennis Hastert all have ties to Bill Allen, a larger than life Alaskan businessman who owned Veco, an oil-field services company, and who was a huge benefactor of Republican politicians. Between 1980 and 2000, Allen, Veco executives and Allen’s friends generated more than $1 million in political donations.

From Think Progress:

Allen has pleaded guilty to bribing Alaska legislators, including Ben Stevens, the son of Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK). The elder Stevens is currently the target of multiple federal investigation, including one on his ties to Veco.

Lott continues to stand by Stevens, donating $5,000 from his political action committee to Stevens’s re-election campaign. Lott also has ties to Allen, who accompanied him to the lavish annual “Waterfall Fishing Tournament” in Alaska. Since 1996, at least 10 current and former lawmakers have attended the trip, an opportunity for “the energy industry’s top brass” to influence lawmakers.

Original DVD cover.