So, kids, by now you have heard that Ted Cruz has joined ranks with the likes of Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan and other cowards in endorsing Donald Trump. Once again, a member of the party of big tough guys has checked his balls at the door in order to back someone who is less qualified than an iguana to be President. I guess Cruz has decided that Trump was right; his wife Heidi is not very attractive, and his father was handing Lee Harvey Oswald bullets in the book depository.
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From Vanity Fair (September 6, 2016):
Donald Trump has long boasted that his past political contributions have given him unique insight into the way Washington is rigged. “I give to everybody. When they call, I give. And you know what? When I need something from them, two years later, three years later, I call them. They are there for me,” he bragged during the first presidential debate. Trump’s candor won him fans, and burnished the billionaire’s claim to be the one candidate who both understands how the donor-donee relationship really works while not being beholden to donors himself.
Now, with just two months until Election Day, the Republican presidential nominee’s claims to have worked the system to his advantage are coming back to haunt him. Over the Labor Day weekend, Trump faced renewed questioning about why his family foundation had donated $25,000 to a political group supporting Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi in 2013—in violation of federal rules preventing foundations from donating to political candidates—at the same time that her office was considering whether to investigate Trump University for alleged fraud. Bondi, according to reporting by the Associated Press in July, “personally solicited” the political contribution, just before she declined to move forward with the Trump University case.
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So, if you’ve been watching TV news lately, you would know that Donald Trump is softening…or hardening his stance on immigration. According to new campaign manager and supposedly brilliant strategist Kellyanne Conway, she doesn’t know shit and won’t know until Wednesday when her boss makes his big immigration speech. Will there be a deportation force to rid the country of all immigrants here illegally? Well, maybe, but maybe not, because Kellyanne said Trump hasn’t mentioned it since his speech at the convention. However, according to Trump surrogate and all-round moron Jack Kingston, the deportation force is on. In fact, Donald bragged to a crowd of lots of white people in Iowa on Saturday that he will wave his tiny fingers and get rid of all the criminal immigrants within an hour of his taking the oath of office (I am not making this up), while Donnie, Jr. the Elephant Killer says Daddy is going to take baby steps. Anyway, Trumpelthinskin apparently has the magic prescription that will end the immigration problem in this country. And, tell me, who better to dispense that medicine?
From THE HUFFINGTON POST:
Zika virus is no laughing matter ― unless, apparently, you’re Mike Huckabee warming up the crowd at a Donald Trump rally.
The former Arkansas governor and failed Republican presidential candidate mocked concerns over the devastating virus so he could take a potshot at Trump’s Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton, during a Wednesday evening rally for Trump in Sunrise, Florida.
“I’m a lot more afraid of a Hillary Clinton presidency than I am of getting a mosquito bite in South Florida,” Huckabee said.
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Filed under Congress, Florida, Hillary Clinton, humor, Mike Huckabee, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs
I was calling you-know-who Hairy Cheez Doodle, but I have changed my mind. He’s got a new name now.
Davenport, Iowa (CNN)Donald Trump, after hearing speeches at the Democratic convention this week, said Thursday he wanted to “hit a number of those speakers so hard, their heads would spin.”
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Filed under Democrats, Hillary Clinton, humor, Michael Bloomberg, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs
Just like we figured, kids, Speaker of the House Eddie Munster…I mean, Paul Ryan put on his kneepads and announced he is voting for the vile one, Donald Trump. I think Rethugs need to put “Party Before Country” on their logo.
From John Cassidy at THE NEW YORKER:
Back in the late eighties and early nineties, when I worked for the LondonSunday Times out of New York and Washington, I sometimes wrote about Donald Trump […]
Since Trump’s voice, even then, was instantly recognizable, it’s hard to conceive of him pretending to be somebody else, such as a fictional spokesman. But, evidently, that is what he did when dealing with some reporters, calling himself John Miller or John Barron. Now the Washington Post has surfaced a tape of one of those conversations, which took place in 1991 with Sue Carswell, then a reporter for People magazine.