Well, kids, the worst has happened (until the next worst happens), and Jeff Beauregard Sessions is now the Attorney General of the United States. Since the Department of Justice has a new
dickhead, it should have a new seal to reflect his values.
I was watching TV news this morning, and up popped a picture of Mike Pence. I don’t know what was being discussed, because all I could think of was how much he resembles an egg. Maybe you can blame it on the fact that I hadn’t had breakfast yet, or maybe it’s because….
See what I mean, kids? I wasn’t yolking. Suddenly, everything made a little more sense!
(Uh oh! Ham isn’t kosher. What about Ivanka?)
So, anyhoo, Vice President Ovum was on Meet the Press today. Keep reading and find out how he got egg all over his face!
David Brooks gave St. Ronald Reagan a tongue bath before he got to this:
The mood of the party is so different today. Donald Trump expressed the party’s new mood to David Muir of ABC, when asked about his decision to suspend immigration from some Muslim countries: “The world is a mess. The world is as angry as it gets. What, you think this is going to cause a little more anger? The world is an angry place.”
Someone who used the name El Jamon from New York posted this response. I wish I knew who he was so I could give him a giant hug:
I am not a wealthy man. According to Donald Trump, I would be a loser. I changed diapers. I am an attentive, nurturing father. I built a modest business. I am devoted to my spouse. We’ve been through thick and thin, better or worse and we still remain devoted and deeply in love. Our home is modest. Our car is not luxurious. I served my country and paid for college myself, without ever taking a loan or dime from my parents. And I am happy because I am grateful. Every single day, I am grateful for this life, better or worse, rich or poor. I’m even grateful for the trials and struggles I’ve had. I’m grateful for the wisdom life’s difficulties and set backs have provided. The man in the gilded tower is not grateful.
Donald Trump and his running mate, Indiana Governor Mike Pence, don’t have much in common—politically, philosophically or personally. And their awkward marriage was on full display in the first interview the two gave together on Sunday on “60 Minutes.”
“It’s probably obvious to people we have different styles,” Pence, who served six terms in Congress, told Lesley Stahl.
Kids, Fortune is being waaaaayyyyy too polite. It was a disaster! Every time Plain Dry Melba Toast Pence opened his mouth, Hairy Cheez Doodle cut him off and answered for him. Lesley Stahl just giggled as the journalism deities wept. Anyway, I was lucky enough to nab a picture of the new couple warming up before they started taping.
From THE INDEPENDENT:
In a statement released yesterday headlined “Muslims are right to be angry”, Bill Donohue, the president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, accused Charlie Hebdo of “intolerance” and its journalists’ “disgusting record” of playing a role in causing their own death.
From Tim Dickinson at Rolling Stone:
The key to decoding Fox News isn’t Bill O’Reilly or Sean Hannity. It isn’t even News Corp. chief Rupert Murdoch. To understand what drives Fox News, and what its true purpose is, you must first understand Chairman [Roger] Ailes. “He is Fox News,” says Jane Hall, a decade-long Fox commentator who defected over Ailes’ embrace of the fear-mongering Glenn Beck. “It’s his vision. It’s a reflection of him.”
Buddy Roemer, the one-term Louisiana governor from long ago (whose reelection campaign ended in defeat at the hands of a Klansman), was none too happy when Fox News announced Wednesday that it was barring him from participating in the first Republican presidential debate, to be held in South Carolina Thursday night.
But he may actually be catching a break.
Tonight’s event could well be the first time in history that a nationally televised presidential debate lowers the stature of every participant.