Well, kids, the worst has happened (until the next worst happens), and Jeff Beauregard Sessions is now the Attorney General of the United States. Since the Department of Justice has a new
dickhead, it should have a new seal to reflect his values.
From The Boston Globe:
WASHINGTON — The Senate on Tuesday confirmed school choice advocate Betsy DeVos as Education secretary by the narrowest of margins, with Vice President Mike Pence breaking a 50-50 tie in a historic vote.
Two Republicans joined Democrats in the unsuccessful effort to derail the nomination of the wealthy Republican donor. The Senate historian said Pence’s vote was the first by a vice president to break a tie on a Cabinet nomination.
Hey, kids, remember how quiet Yertle McConnell has been when it comes to all the shit spewing out of Hair Furor’s mouth and President Steve Bannon’s pen? Well, I guess the honeymoon is finally over. A straw finally broke the elephant’s back.
From USA TODAY ON POLITICS:
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he doesn’t view Russian President Vladimir Putin in the same way that President Trump does.
During an interview on CNN’s State of the Union, the Kentucky Republican called Putin a “thug” and former KGB agent who was not elected in a way most would consider “a credible election.” Putin also invaded the sovereign nation of Ukraine and “messed around in our elections,” said McConnell.
I was watching TV news this morning, and up popped a picture of Mike Pence. I don’t know what was being discussed, because all I could think of was how much he resembles an egg. Maybe you can blame it on the fact that I hadn’t had breakfast yet, or maybe it’s because….
See what I mean, kids? I wasn’t yolking. Suddenly, everything made a little more sense!
(Uh oh! Ham isn’t kosher. What about Ivanka?)
So, anyhoo, Vice President Ovum was on Meet the Press today. Keep reading and find out how he got egg all over his face!
Just kidding, there’s nothing good here, just the alternative…
Wanted to introduce a couple of new hires in Twitler/President Bannon’s world who will fit right in with Kellyanne Alternative Facts Conway, Sean Shitstain Spicer and three-time-loser of The Apprentice Omarosa Manigault (I thought Tangerine Tyrant didn’t like losers).
By the way, do you like the way everyone is dressed?
Steve Bannon. Do I need to say more? Hell, no! Because I can sing instead!!
🎼 If my lips move, then I’m lyin’
Or I’m Holocaust denyin’,
Don’t care if that’s profane,
Because hour by hour,
I’m amassing so much power,
All of D.C.’s my domain.♫
Shoutout to our newest Raisinette, EPIC GOP Fail, whom you can follow on Twitter, as I do. EPIC tweeted that we needed a new graphic to measure the new GOP crazy. I was inspired, because all Raisinettes know that I never shirk my duty when called to do the public a service. Behold, the new Terror Alert Color Coded System, just like the old one that has kept us so safe.