Hey, kids, didja read the news today? POLITICO is reporting that
Eddie Munster Paul Ryan is scared shitless he will lose reelection in 2018 thinking about putting down his Speaker’s gavel and walking away from D.C. at the end of his term. If the tax cut bill that will enrich the uber-wealthy and destroy the middle class goes through, and he succeeds in decimating Medicare and Medicaid, then he will consider his job done. He wants to go home and jerk off to Ayn Rand documentaries spend more time with his presidential aspirations family. But wait, there’s more!
Dear Senator Gillibrand,
Please consider this my letter of resignation from the Democratic Party. I’ve been a Democrat ever since I was old enough to vote. It is with a heavy heart that I must resign, because I cannot possibly meet the new purity standards.
From The Daily Dot:
A tweet from White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders last year shortly before the presidential election has a bit of a different meaning after President Donald Trump blasted the FBI on Twitter over the weekend.
On Nov. 3 last year, Sanders wrote: “When you’re attacking FBI agents because you’re under criminal investigation, you’re losing,” presumably a jab at then-candidate Hillary Clinton amid the FBI making announcements regarding new findings in the investigation into her private email server.
But with Trump’s numerous tweets attacking the FBI on Sunday, the tweet has gained some new life.
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Filed under FBI, Fox News, Hillary Clinton, humor, James Comey, parody, politics, Republicans, Robert Mueller, Russia, satire, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs
From NBC News:
Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., threw his support behind the Republican tax plan Thursday, boosting the bill’s chances of passage.
McCain said that while the Senate bill is “far from perfect,” he believes it will “enhance American competitiveness, boost the economy and provide long overdue tax relief for middle class families.”
The Maverick added, “But my wife Cindy inherited a Budweiser fortune, so fuck all that shit about working together and gimme those tax cuts!!”
From THE TEXAS TRIBUNE:
U.S. Rep. Joe Barton, R-Ennis, released a statement on Wednesday apologizing for a graphic nude photo of him that circulated on social media earlier this week.
From Politicus USA:
On Tuesday, when asked about the senatorial race in Alabama between Democrat Doug Jones and Republican Roy Moore, who’s been accused of sexual assault by numerous women, President Trump responded, “We don’t need a liberal democrat in that seat.” He added, “Roy Moore denies it— that’s all I can say.”
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Filed under Al Franken, Democrats, Fox News, humor, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, Sexual Harassment, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs
From Gossip Extra:
For all her photogenic grace, a new report outlining Ivanka Trump’s involvement with a fugitive from Panama, makes it seem like the first daughter’s apple doesn’t fall far from Donald Trump’s shady tree.
In 2007, Ivanka Trump, met with a host of foreign investors, including Russians, in Panama to discuss the new Trump Ocean Club International Hotel and Tower, which would include luxury apartments on the water, as well as a casino.
One of Ivanka’s guests was Alexandre Ventura Nogueira […]
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