Category Archives: Ted Haggard

But He’s Still Not Gay…

Here we go again, kids!
From the Idaho Statesman (Hey, kids! They have audio interviews over there!):

David Phillips. Mike Jones. Greg Ruth. Tom Russell.

Four gay men, willing to put their names in print and whose allegations can’t be disproved, have come forward since news of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig’s guilty plea. They say they had sex with Craig or that he made a sexual advance or that he paid them unusual attention.

They are telling their stories now because they are offended by Craig’s denials, including his famous statement, “I am not gay, I never have been gay.” Those words, spoken on live national TV on Aug. 28, are now memorialized on a just-released-for-Christmas Talking Senator Larry Craig Action Figure.


Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, Larry Craig, movies, Mr. Whipple, parody, politics, Republicans, Scandals, snark, Ted Haggard, Wordpress Political Blogs

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That….

To the tune of The Lumberjack Song by by Terry Jones, Michael Palin, and Fred Tomlinson.
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Oh, I’m a senator, and I’m NOT GAY,
I troll at night, and I work all day.

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Chorus:

He’s Republican, so he’s NOT GAY,
He trolls at night, and he works all day.

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I swipe my hand, I tap my foot,
In airport lavatories,
But gay? Not me! Just wide-stanced, please ignore the stories.

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Police Dept. Undercover Cop Division:

He swipes his hand, he taps his foot,
In airport lavatories,
But gay? Not him! Just wide-stanced, please ignore the stories.

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Chorus:

He’s Republican, so he’s NOT GAY,
He trolls at night, and he works all day.

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I cruise men’s rooms, I peek in stalls,
Very dark and noisy,
Let me stay in D.C., can’t get laid in Boise.

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Religious right:

He’ll cruise men’s rooms, he peeks in stalls,
Very dark and noisy,
Let him stay in D.C., can’t get laid in Boise.

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Chorus:

He’s Republican, so he’s NOT GAY,
He trolls at night, and he works all day.

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Oh, I’m all male, and i vote down,
Pro-gay legislation,
To diss the guy who blew me, down in Union Station.

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The Singing Senators:

Yes, he’s all male, he voted down,
Pro-gay legislation…
And dissed the guy who blew him, down in Union Station!

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Arresting Officer:

You ARE Republican and you ARE GAY
You’re under arrest, so come this way!
You ARE Republican and you ARE GAY
You’re under arrest, so come this way!

©mikk0 and nonnie9999

Send all correspondence to the Mighty Mikk0Mouse. This was all his idea!!!

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Filed under Gay rights, Homosexuality, humor, James Dobson, John Ashcroft, Larry Craig, Monty Python, music parody, parody, Pat Robertson, politics, Republicans, Scandals, snark, Ted Haggard, Tinky Winky, Tony Perkins, Trent Lott