Back to Cruel(la)

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The Trump administration could allow families to use federal education funding elsewhere if the local public school does not open during the coronavirus pandemic, the U.S. education secretary said on Thursday as the Trump administration seeks to pressure states and cities to fully resume in-person classes.

Original game cover

You say, “Potato.” I say, “WTF?!”

From dcist:

President Donald Trump took aim at Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam during a briefing at the White House on Tuesday, declaring his intent to “go after” the state and its “crazy governor” as he gave remarks on government efforts to support U.S. farmers.

Following an appearance from a Virginia potato farmer, the president said, “We’re going after Virginia, with your crazy governor. We’re going after Virginia. They want to take your Second Amendment away, you know that. You’ll have nobody guarding your potatoes.”

No worries. The governor can always call in Virginia’s National Potato Guard.

Original DVD cover

It’s a Blog Mitzvah!

I realized the other day that February 17, 2007 was the very first post on Hysterical Raisins. Those were the pre-Photoshop days of The Raisin, and the MS Paint image is embarrassing when I look at it today. So, kids, in honor of The Raisin’s 13th birthday (its blog mitzvah!), I thought I would recreate and update the very first poster. I couldn’t find the same image, but I did find the cover of the DVD box.

Original DVD cover

(Pictured: Bill Barr, Jared Kushner, Kellyanne Conway, Twitler, Stephen Miller, Mike Pence, Ivanka Trump)

(Orange is the New) Black Adder(all)

From INDEPENDENT:

Donald Trump appeared to stumble and slur his way through a scripted address, including failing to say the word “tolerated”, in his response to Iran‘s attacks on two US bases in Iraq.

He told Iran that its “campaign of terror, murder, mayhem, will not be ‘tolerited’ any longer”.​

What’s with the slurring of words and mispronunciations? People have theories…

Original DVD cover

We wish Jew a merry Xmas

From mxdwn:

It’s kinda sad that there are so few Hanukkah specials out there. There are, of course, some great ones to choose from like the The Rugrats Hanukkah episodes, the Even Stevens Hanukkah special, or even An American Tale. And yes, if you wanted to, you could include the Adam Sandler animated movie Eight Crazy Nights. But there just aren’t that many specials dedicated to Hanukkah as there are for Christmas.

That’s why this year the Hallmark Channel decided to try and tackle the lack of Hanukkah movies, and apparently they failed spectacularly at it.

Original straight white Christmas image

Send in the Clowns

Today’s House Judiciary Committee’s Rethuglican highlights:

Original DVD cover

Maybe if they scream loud enough, nobody will notice that Twitler is a criminal

Kids, I was out for much of the day, so I didn’t see all of the House Judiciary Committee hearings today. Right before my eardrums exploded, I did hear some of Doug Collins screeching once again at the top of his lungs, because nothing says your argument is logical and persuasive than delivering it at 120 decibels.

Original DVD cover

Steele’s Magnolia

From The Guardian:

The former MI6 officer Christopher Steele had a “personal” relationship with Ivanka Trump and gifted her a “family tartan from Scotland” as a present, the long-awaited report by US Department of Justice inspector general, Michael Horowitz, revealed on Monday.

Horowitz’s review of the FBI’s 2016 investigation into Donald Trump’s 2016 election campaign and its links with Russia includes fresh details of Steele’s interactions with the FBI, and startling claims about his relationship with the Trumps dating back to the period before he wrote a controversial dossier on Trump.

Original DVD cover