Category Archives: Texas

Back to Cruel(la)

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The Trump administration could allow families to use federal education funding elsewhere if the local public school does not open during the coronavirus pandemic, the U.S. education secretary said on Thursday as the Trump administration seeks to pressure states and cities to fully resume in-person classes.

are you smarter than a 5th grader betsy devos

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Filed under Arizona, Betsy DeVos, Congress, Democrats, Florida, House of Representatvies, humor, Nancy Pelosi, parody, Republicans, satire, snark, television, Texas

Let Them Eat Caca

From THE HILL:

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is facing blowback from across the political spectrum after he suggested states should be able to declare bankruptcy as they face severe budget holes sparked by the coronavirus outbreak.

…snip…

But McConnell sparked his own political firestorm when, in response to a question from radio host Hugh Hewitt, he said he supported letting states declare bankruptcy and positioned Republicans as cautious of providing them with additional federal relief.

marie antoinette

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Filed under humor, Mitch McConnell, Painting, parody, Peter King, politics, Republicans, satire, Senate, snark, Texas, Wordpress Political Blogs

Make them all go first!

From HIVE at VANITY FAIR:

America is just over a week into the White House’s “Slow the Spread” coronavirus initiative, which recommends citizens practice social distancing and refrain as much as possible from leaving their homes. But Donald Trump has spent the past few days whining about the struggling stock market and signaling a return to business as usual, despite warnings from his own medical experts that an additional several weeks are necessary to contain the still-growing pandemic. Sending the country back into full-time work mode would undermine efforts to curb the outbreak and will almost certainly lead to more Americans dying—one worst-case model found that 2.2 million people could die if the outbreak is allowed to spread unmitigated. Right-wing media outlets know this, but they’re still backing the White House’s ill-advised pivot in near unison.

In fact, the death cult speed-run to save the stock market already has its first round of volunteers. On Monday night, Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick kicked things off by telling Tucker Carlson that he is ready “to take a chance on [my] survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves,” i.e. one in which business is booming. Carlson, who commended Patrick’s comments as a necessary “conversation,” discussed the proposal on Tuesday night with his colleague Brit Hume, who concluded that it is “an entirely reasonable viewpoint.”

death to smoochy covid19

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Filed under Fox News, Glenn Beck, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Texas, Tucker Carlson, Wordpress Political Blogs

Make sure your remote has a mute button!

From THE HILL:

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) said on Sunday that GOP Reps. Doug Collins (Ga.), John Ratcliffe (Texas) and Jim Jordan (Ohio) should represent President Trump in the upcoming Senate impeachment trial.

Wait, what? Now shitheads paid by taxpayers are supposed to defend Twitler? There are no attorneys in the White House Counsel Office? What about Twitler’s private attorneys…oops! I forgot that they are either in jail or under investigation because the SDNY is so jealous of him. I wonder what’s next. Will Rethugs insist that Chief Justice John Roberts wears a MAGA hat and T-shirt when he presides over what may or may not be a trial?

the three stooges disorder in the court

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Filed under Congress, House Intelligence Committee, House Judiciary Committee, humor, Immigration, Impeachment, John Roberts, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Robert Mueller, satire, snark, Texas, Vladimir Putin, Wordpress Political Blogs

Twitler’s Border Wall Plan Gets Boulder!

From CBS Denver:

President Donald Trump said, “We’re building a wall in Colorado” when talking about border wall progress on Wednesday afternoon. Trump was speaking in Pittsburgh at the Shale Insight Conference when he made the comments.

“And we’re building a wall on the border of New Mexico and we’re building a wall in Colorado, we’re building a beautiful wall, a big one that really works that you can’t get over, you can’t get under and we’re building a wall in Texas. We’re not building a wall in Kansas but they get the benefit of the walls we just mentioned,” said Trump.

colorado

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Texas Weenie Roast

From THE TEXAS TRIBUNE:

U.S. Rep. Joe Barton, R-Ennis, released a statement on Wednesday apologizing for a graphic nude photo of him that circulated on social media earlier this week.

joe barton turkey

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Drowning in Disgust

From NEWSWEEK:

President Trump’s former ethics chief said the president’s decision to show off a $40 Trump campaign merchandise baseball cap on a visit to storm-struck Texas raises ethics concerns.

The president was pictured wearing the Official USA 45th Presidential Hats in two pictures released by the White House over the weekend, and in TV footage of an official visit to the state Tuesday. Both hats, described as “Proudly Made in the USA,” are sold as merchandise via the Trump campaign website.

the search

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The water is deep. The bullshit is deeper.

From THE TEXAS TRIBUNE:

Many New Yorkers and New Jerseyans serving in Congress have, for nearly five years now, kept a list of names handy to roll out at a moment’s notice. They call it “the Comeuppance Caucus.”

For some, the list is on a physical paper or bookmarked on a computer. For others, it’s merely tattooed into their brains. It consists of which colleagues voted against Hurricane Sandy funding back in 2013, and it’s chock full of Texas Republicans.

In fact, nearly every Texas Republican who was serving in Congress at the time voted against the $50.5 billion aid bill. And now their own constituents are facing the biggest natural disaster in state history.

flood

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Filed under Congress, humor, John Cornyn, movies, parody, Peter King, Republicans, satire, snark, Texas