Its Comical, Part 8: Clean-up Edition

This will be the last installment of the series, so let’s take a look at some of the comics and comic-related pix we haven’t seen before. One of the longest running comics is Dennis the Menace, and we have had a few different Dennises. There was Chimpy, with Deadeye Dick Cheney filling in for Mr. Wilson…
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Detecting lies is easy, it’s finding any truth that’s almost impossible

From WIS10:

COLUMBIA, SC (WIS) – Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer has released the results of a lie detector test which he says proves he isn’t behind a string of attacks against one of his Republican opponents, Rep. Nikki Haley.

In a GOP gubernatorial debate last week in Charleston, Haley accused Bauer of being responsible for charges of marital infidelity against her. Larry Marchant, one of the two men who have claimed past relationships with Haley, was a consultant to the Bauer campaign until the day of the debate.

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Offshore Shilling

From The State:

COLUMBIA, S.C. — The four Republicans running for governor of South Carolina support drilling for natural gas off South Carolina’s shores and pushing the federal government to remove nuclear waste from the state. But they have different views on the type of oil exploration that has led to the massive Gulf oil spill.

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Four-term U.S. Rep. Gresham Barrett, two-term Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, three-term state Rep. Nikki Haley and two-term Attorney General Henry McMaster all say natural gas reserves off South Carolina’s coast could be an economic boon to the state and help the country become energy independent.

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Breaking News: Lt. Gov. Bauer Solves Childhood Obesity Problem

From The State:

GREENVILLE – Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer has compared giving people government assistance to “feeding stray animals.”

Bauer, who is running for the Republican nomination for governor, made his remarks during a town hall meeting in Fountain Inn that included state lawmakers and about 115 residents.

“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better,” Bauer said.

In South Carolina, 58 percent of students participate in the free and reduced-price lunch program.

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How Can We Miss You When You Won’t Go Away?

From the Los Angeles Times:

South Carolina’s lieutenant governor on Wednesday called for the resignation of Gov. Mark Sanford, citing “serious misconduct” and “serious distractions” that have stemmed from Sanford’s extramarital tryst with an Argentine woman.

But Sanford declined to step down, calling his understudy’s move “pure politics, plain and simple.”

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Party of Sinners? Party On, Sinners!

From The CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR:

A clearly emotional Sen. Lindsey Graham (R) of South Carolina Sunday invoked former President Clinton as a defense for why embattled Gov. Mark Sanford, also of South Carolina, should potentially be allowed to finish his term.

Senator Graham is the godfather of Governor Sanford’s fourth and youngest son, and he fielded questions about Sanford’s admitted infidelity with difficulty on NBC’s “Meet the Press.” In a contrite moment, he called the GOP “a party of sinners” – apparently referring to his own religious convictions, because he added that the same was true of “every other group in America.”

Of course, Lindseypoo still hasn’t spilled about his own sins, but one of them is wearing that dress. It makes his hips look big.

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An Ego of Biblical Proportions

(ChattahBox)—Disgraced South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford has spent the last two days furiously cherry-picking through his bible, looking for any religious justification for his sinful behavior of adultery, lying and abandoning his family and constituents to jet off to Argentina to be in the arms of his lover. And by golly, he found it!

Gov. Sanford told his staff during a televised cabinet meeting today that he was just like King David, the biblical King of Israel and that if King David didn’t resign after committing adultery and murder, well then neither will he!

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undiS.C.losed location

From The State:

S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford’s staff said this morning that the governor, who went mysteriously incommunicado for several days, plans to return to his office Wednesday.

Late Monday, his office said the governor was hiking on the Appalachian Trail, ending four days during which staff and state officials said they had not heard from him.

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