Tag Archives: Attorney General

Sheet Music

From Mother Jones:

Attorney General Jeff Sessions has fallen out of favor with President Donald Trump, but that hasn’t stopped him from moving quickly to reshape the federal government’s approach to law enforcement. He has implemented new policies that will turn more offenses into federal crimes, confiscate suspects’ property, and crack down on sanctuary jurisdictions. The policies fit Sessions’ tough-on-crime attitude toward criminal justice—but he isn’t taking credit for them.

In announcing recent reforms, Sessions has said he is carrying out the recommendations of the Task Force on Crime Reduction and Public Safety. […] But what exactly is this task force? It’s hard to say. The Justice Department has declined to disclose the task force’s membership, its meeting agendas, or its recommendations to the attorney general. The task force was slated to deliver a report to Sessions last week, but it has not been made public. Instead, the group supposedly behind some of the Trump administration’s most consequential policy moves remains an almost complete mystery.

Oooooh, I think I might know what the task force might look like! Please, I have my hand up. Pick me! Pick me!

we are all loyal klansmen sheet music

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Filed under Barack Obama, FBI, Fox News, humor, Justice Department, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

obSESSIONS

From the DAILY BEAST:

Attorney General Jeff Sessions has no plans to leave office, as friends say he’s grown angry with President Donald Trump following a series of attacks meant to marginalize his power and, potentially, encourage his resignation.

“Sessions is totally pissed off about it,” said a Sessions ally familiar with his thinking. “It’s beyond insane. It’s cruel and it’s insane and it’s stupid.”

Uh-oh! Little Ernie…I mean, Little BeauBeau is pissed off! Ever see The Help, Twitler? Better not eat the cookies…especially the chocolate ones, no matter how beautiful they are.

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Filed under Hillary Clinton, humor, Justice Department, Lindsey Graham, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Robert Mueller, Russia, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Giuliani as AG? That’s enough to make me toss my cookies!

From AXIOS:

President Trump is so unhappy with Attorney General Jeff Sessions that he has raised the possibility of bringing back Rudolph Giuliani to head the Justice Department, according to West Wing confidants.

  • In internal conversations, Trump has recently pondered the idea of nominating Giuliani, a stalwart of his campaign.

  • Even before last week’s blast at Sessions in a New York Times interview, Trump had expressed fury at Sessions — also one of the first prominent Republicans to back the Trump campaign — for recusing himself from the Russia investigation.

Rudy replacing Ernie…I mean, Beauregard? The cookie factory would never be the same!

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Filed under 9/11, Advertising, humor, Justice Department, New York City, Newt Gingrich, parody, Republicans, Robert Mueller, Rudy Giuliani, Russia, satire, Senate, September 11, snark

Instruction of Justice?

From CBS NEWS:

The Department of Justice claims Attorney General Jeff Sessions was “instructed” not to disclose meetings with foreign dignitaries.

Sessions, who met with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak at least twice last year, didn’t list those interactions on his security clearance application because he was told he didn’t need to, according to the DOJ. The forms require applicants to list any contacts with a foreign government or its representatives.

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Filed under FBI, humor, Justice Department, parody, politics, Republicans, Russia, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Seanah Huckaspicer-Slanders

From NEWSWEEK:

WILL SARAH SANDERS REPLACE SEAN SPICER?

The real question is, will we be able to tell the difference?

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Filed under FBI, humor, James Comey, Justice Department, parody, politics, Republicans, Russia, satire, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

Koch-conspirators

From Mother Jones:

The billionaire Koch brothers, Charles and David, spread their money far and wide. They fund free-market think tanks, right-leaning academic organizations, and conservative political advocacy groups, such as the Americans for Prosperity Foundation, which helped cultivate the tea party. The political action committee for the Kochs’ massive conglomerate, Koch Industries, has also given generously to big-name conservative politicians throughout the country at both the federal and state level. But when it comes to the 2012 presidential race, the Kochs have been more selective with their giving, with only one presidential candidate so far benefiting from their largesse: Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.).

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Filed under Advertising, Congress, FEC, Federal Election Commission, humor, Mitt Romney, parody, politics, Republicans, Rick Santorum, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Kochroaches

From The Miami Herald:

Gov. Rick Scott acknowledged Tuesday what his staff had refused to disclose: He flew to Colorado over the weekend to attend a secretive policy retreat hosted by powerful conservative donors Charles and David Koch.

“It was very interesting,” Scott said. “They wanted basically to know what am I doing in Florida.”

Scott said he gave an overview of his agenda since taking office in January: education and Medicaid reform [translation:  screwing the poor and middle class], tax breaks for businesses [translation:  screwing the poor and middle class], drug-testing welfare recipients [translation:  screwing the poor and making money for Solantic, his urgent care centers that do drug-testing] and overhauling the public employee pension system [translation:  screwing the poor and middle class].

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Filed under Advertising, Democrats, Florida, humor, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Texas, Wordpress Political Blogs