Hole-y War

Mitt Romney took time out from driving his numerous cars to try to remmber what his rock-solid convictions are when it comes to women’s rights. Good thing that his new BFF, Ron Paul who is scared shitless that his worthless son, Rand, might move home if he doesn’t stay employed, was on hand to remind Mittsie that the conservative stance is that contraception is immoral.

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Brainless Friess

Back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly.–Foster Friess

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Prick Santorum

From THINK PROGRESS:

Appearing on NBC’s Meet the Press [Sunday] morning, former Senator and GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum offered two stunningly maximalist positions on abortion — abortion should be flatly banned even in cases of rape or incest, and doctors who perform abortions should face criminal charges:

QUESTION: Do you believe that there should be any legal exceptions for rape or incest when it comes to abortion?

SANTORUM: I believe that life begins at conception, and that that life should be guaranteed under the Constitution. That is a person.

QUESTION: So even in the case of rape or incest, that would be taking a life?

SANTORUM: That would be taking a life, and I believe that any doctor that performs an abortion, I would advocate that any doctor that performs an abortion, should be criminally charged for doing so.

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#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement About Jon Kyl

Kids, I’m sure by now you heard about Jon Kyl’s claims about Planned Parenthood that he made on the Senate floor:

If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood. And that’s well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.

After he got slapped around by almost everyone who did a little fact-checking (from The Philadelphia Inquirer)…

Abortion constitutes 3 percent of what Planned Parenthood does. More than 90 percent of the organization’s services, 96 percent if you prefer specifics – Kyl, apparently, does not – are for contraception, cancer screening, detection and treatment of sexually transmitted disease, and other health issues.

…the senator’s office issued this statement:

His remark was not intended to be a factual statement, but rather to illustrate that Planned Parenthood, a organization that receives millions of dollars in taxpayer funding, does subsidize abortions.

Stephen Colbert and his fans had a bit of fun with that on Twitter, and I thought I’d add a few more things that are not intended to be factual statements that you might not have known about Jon Kyl.  For one thing, Jon Kyl was born a Muslim…

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Take Them Out! To the ballgame, I mean.

From Mitchell Bard at THE HUFFINGTON POST:

Noted football coach Bill Parcells once said, “You are what your record says you are.”

Parcells’ quote jumped into my mind when I was thinking about the slate of Tea Party-influenced Republicans running in November. I feel like we’ve become immune to the stories about the extreme and, sometimes, downright delusional things they’ve said, since they’ve come in a steady stream over the past several months. But if you step back and look at the group as a whole (or at least some of the leading Tea Party favorites), you can get a real sense of what the Republican Party is offering voters in November.

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(In the window, not allowed to participate: Michael Phathead Steele. Back row, l to r: Coach Rush Limbaugh, cheerleader Rich Iott (running for OH-Nein), Coach Glenn Beck, Marco Rubio. Middle-but not moderate-row, l to r: Linda McMahon, Joe Miller, Rand Paul, Ron Johnson, Carl Paladino. Front row, l to r: Christine O’Donnell, Ken Buck, Dan Maes, Sharron Angle, and Batboy David Vitter)

Rowdy With a Chance of Screwballs

From Betsy Reed at THE Nation:

In the media spectacle that is the 2010 midterm elections, women of the GOP are playing starring roles. They have figured prominently in nearly every plot and subplot that holds any real interest or potential for debased amusement: from Indian-American Nikki Haley’s triumph over her mudslinging male rivals for the GOP gubernatorial nod in South Carolina, to Carly Fiorina’s catty open-mic swipe at her opponent Barbara Boxer’s hair in the first-ever contest between two women for a California Senate seat, to WWF founder and Connecticut Senate hopeful Linda McMahon’s gifts to oh-so-lucky Democratic ad firms (including video of the candidate physically attacking a buxom, scantily clad woman purporting to be her husband’s lover), to the daily dose of clips revealing Christine O’Donnell’s youthful preoccupations with witchcraft and masturbation. Remember when politics was boring?

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Virginia should be reeling

From The Washington Post:

At age 34, two years before his first election and two decades before he would run for governor of Virginia, Robert F. McDonnell submitted a master’s thesis to the evangelical school he was attending in Virginia Beach in which he described working women and feminists as “detrimental” to the family. He said government policy should favor married couples over “cohabitators, homosexuals or fornicators.” He described as “illogical” a 1972 Supreme Court decision legalizing the use of contraception by unmarried couples.

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Abstinence is as easy as taking Candies from a baby!

From TIME:

Bristol Palin — Sarah Palin’s 19-year-old-daughter and unwed mother of 4-month-old Tripp — has been blog-blistered this week for her debut as an Abstinence Ambassador for the Candies Foundation. She made the rounds of the morning shows, appeared at a town hall meeting for National Teen Pregnancy Awareness Day and declared herself committed to discouraging behavior that would leave other girls in the same predicament she finds herself in. “Regardless of what I did personally,” she told Chris Cuomo on Good Morning America, “abstinence is the only … 100% foolproof way you can prevent pregnancy.”

(Note: Time needs to do better fact-checking. Bristol won’t be 19 until October.)

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(And, yeah, the Candies Foundation really does have shirts like that! I think they go very well with their family values advertising.)