Since Bristol Palin decided to shake her derriere on Dancing With the Stars, she and her mother can’t bellyache about her being a private person and, therefore, immune from scrutiny. I thought we’d take a look at the love story that was Bristol and Levi Johnston. It begins, I suppose, with what the two were doing right under the noses of Princess Sarah and Toddy, Fundy Christian Abstinence-only Parents of the Year…
With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan. To the tune of The Mikado‘s Tit Willow:
On a late-night talk show, Let-ter-man made a joke,
About Bristol, not Willow, not Willow!
Sarah acted so mad, you’d think she’d have a stroke,
The silliness be-gan to billow.
I have to ask, Sarah, why oh why do you rave?
Is it simply to get the attention you crave?
If it is, don’t continue attacking poor Dave,
It’s about you, not Bristol, or Willow!
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Bristol Palin — Sarah Palin’s 19-year-old-daughter and unwed mother of 4-month-old Tripp — has been blog-blistered this week for her debut as an Abstinence Ambassador for the Candies Foundation. She made the rounds of the morning shows, appeared at a town hall meeting for National Teen Pregnancy Awareness Day and declared herself committed to discouraging behavior that would leave other girls in the same predicament she finds herself in. “Regardless of what I did personally,” she told Chris Cuomo on Good Morning America, “abstinence is the only … 100% foolproof way you can prevent pregnancy.”
(Note: Time needs to do better fact-checking. Bristol won’t be 19 until October.)
Original DVD cover.
(And, yeah, the Candies Foundation really does have shirts like that! I think they go very well with their family values advertising.)
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