The Macaca Awards! Part IV

We continue with nominations for the Mock, Paper, Scissors–Hysterical Raisins 1st Semi-Regular Macaca Awards.

(Image courtesy of Tengrain)

Tonight’s category is Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy and Pooping on the First Amendment, and the nominees are:

I Thought He’s From South Carolina

Kids, did any of you watch the Miss America Pageant? Me neither. However, I saw this in The Boston Globe, and frankly I was shocked, shocked I tell ya!

LAS VEGAS—Organizers say Miss Oklahoma Taylor Treat has won a $6,000 scholarship at the Miss America Pageant for her volunteering and community service.

…snip…

Miss New Hampshire Lindsey Graham was first runner-up for the award and won $4,000.

(emphasis mine)

Of course, I had to do some digging. Is it kosher for a senator who says he represents South Carolina to represent a New England state in the pageant? And how did Lindseypoo do in the pageant? I had no luck researching the first question, but I did find some screencaps of Lindseypoo in all his finery. Here he is in the evening gown portion of the competition.

Original image

As you can see, John Boohoo Boehner lent Lindseypoo some self-tanner, and Carrie Prejean let him wear her lucky hubcaps earrings.

Goodbye 2009!

To the tune of My Favorite Things (music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II):

Birthers and Deathers, and all kinds of crazy,
A Twitterer quits, ’cause she’s just too damned lazy,
Rescuing banks ’cause they’re too big to fail,
Tales about the Appalachian trail.

♫

A Very Inappropriate Post

From THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP:

In an interview with Larry King last night, Carrie Prejean told the host: “Sarah Palin is my hero.”

Incredibly, however, that was NOT the most ridiculous thing Prejean did or said during the segment!

Before throwing a fit and acting like a six-year old, Carrie expounded on her admiration for Palin. She said she admired the former governor’s “strength and her courage,” adding that Palin would “make a great President.”

…snip…

From there, Carrie took hypocrisy to a new level, even for herself: asked why she settled her lawsuit with the Miss California Pageant, Prejean refused to discuss the matter in any way, referring to King’s question as “inappropriate.”

Did Prejean forget that she had just spoken at length to Sean Hannity about her masturbation tape?

Original DVD cover

Beauty is only skin-deep. Stupid’s to the bone!

From The Fix at The Washington Post:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin re-appeared on the national stage tonight, jumping to the defense of a beauty pageant contestant who has been at the center of a media feeding frenzy in recent days.

“The liberal onslaught of malicious attacks against [Miss California] Carrie Prejean for expressing her opinion is despicable,” said Palin in a statement.

Because a governor at a time of economic disaster has nothing better to worry about.

Original DVD cover.

Dumb Blondes

From USA Today:

Donald Trump says Carrie Prejean’s photos are “fine” and her crown will stay put. “Carrie will remain Miss California.”

The Donald also said at this morning’s press conference: “We had a little bit of a dilemma with Carrie, who is here, lovely, and gave a very, very honest answer when asked a very tough question (about gay marriage) at the recent pageant. It’s the same answer the president of the U.S. gave, the same answer many people gave. It was probably a fair question because it’s asked of many people. If her beauty wasn’t so great, nobody really would have cared. But that’s not the way it worked out.”

Original DVD cover.