Tag Archives: Gretchen Carlson

I hope everyone leaves the rice in the bags when they throw it

From the New York DAILY NEWS:

It’s wedding bells for Rush Limbaugh – for the fourth time.

The conservative firebrand, 59, will exchange vows Saturday in Florida with Kathryn Rogers – a blond bombshell half his age – in a lavish Hawaiian-themed wedding bash headlined by none-other-than Sir Elton John.


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(The guests, top to bottom:  Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, Gretchen Carlson, Neil Cavuto)

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Can he balance a ball on his nose?

From Forbes:

Five and a half hours before showtime Glenn Beck still isn’t quite sure how he’ll provide tonight’s entertainment, “The Future of History”–two hours of monologue (and answers to preselected questions) before a nearly sellout crowd of 1,000 or so people at the Nokia Theatre in New York City’s Times Square. “But that’s me–I’m the next-event guy,” says Beck, flanked by two bodyguards as he walks the four blocks between the Fox News Channel studio, where he has pretaped the day’s show, and the theater. He won’t have to create tonight’s performance from scratch, since he’s left a long trail of words–millions of passionate, angry, weepy, moralizing, corny, offensive words–in his wake. “The body of work is pretty much the same,” explains Beck, 46. “What I’m trying to do is get this message out about self-empowerment, entrepreneurial spirit and true Americanism–the way we were when we changed the world, when Edison was alone, failing his 2,000th time on the lightbulb.”


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(In the back,  the Faux News Bimbettes, l to r: Greta Van Susteren, Megyn Kelly, Princess Sarah Palin, Gretchen Carlson, and Rupert Uncle Rupie Murdoch in the top corner)
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Funny Princess Can’t Take a Joke, Because She Is One

From the Austin American-Statesman (February 17):

Sarah Palin is lashing out at the portrayal of a character with Down syndrome on the Fox animated comedy “Family Guy.”

In a Facebook posting headlined “Fox Hollywood — What a Disappointment,” the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee and current Fox News contributor said Sunday night’s episode felt like “another kick in the gut.” Palin’s youngest son, Trig, has Down syndrome.

The episode features a character on a date with a girl [Ellen] with Down syndrome. He asks what her parents do. She replies: “My dad’s an accountant, and my mom is the former governor of Alaska.”

Palin resigned as Alaska governor last summer.

Palin’s oldest daughter, Bristol, also was quoted on her mother’s Facebook page:

“If the writers of a particularly pathetic cartoon show thought they were being clever in mocking my brother and my family yesterday, they failed. All they proved is that they’re heartless jerks.”


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(Clockwise from topxChimpyx George W. Bush, Gretchen Carlson, Steve Doocy, Diaper David Vitter,  Princess Sarah Palin,  Glenn Beck and his mucous, Rush Limbaugh)
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It May Be Cold, But They Need a Chill Pill

From POLITICO:

With the nation’s capital buried in several feet of snow and the federal government brought to a halt by Mother Nature, conservatives are mocking former Vice President Al Gore and his crusade to curb global climate change.

The vocal doubters of global warming frequently use any unseasonal snowfall or cold spell to mock Gore, despite the fact that climate scientists study long-term trends and give little weight to one-time occurrences or random meteorological events.

But the historic snowfall in Washington — coinciding with a push from Democrats to enact legislation capping carbon emissions — has left conservatives crowing that fears of environmental catastrophe make no sense.


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AU whatta PAIR!

If they ever make a movie about Batshit Michele Bachmann, Fran Drescher would be a good choice for the lead, but who would ever have thought that Batshit Bachmann could have played the role that made Fran Drescher famous?

From George Will (who apparently has nothing better to do or opine on) at The Washington Post:

WASHINGTON — When Marcus Bachmann came home that Saturday evening in 2000 he checked the telephone answering machine and was mystified by the many messages congratulating his wife for something. “Michele,” he said, “do you have something to tell me?” She did.

The state senator from her district in suburban Minneapolis-St. Paul had been in office for 17 years, had stopped being pro-life [he became anti-life?] and started supporting tax increases, so that morning she had skipped washing her hair, put on jeans and a tattered sweatshirt and went to the local Republican nominating caucus to ask him a few pointed questions. There, on the spur of the moment, some similarly disgruntled conservatives suggested that she unseat the incumbent. After she made a five-minute speech “on freedom,” the caucus emphatically endorsed her and she handily won the subsequent primary.

After six years in the state Legislature, she ran for Congress and now, in her second term, has become such a burr under Democrats’ saddles that recently The New York Times profiled her beneath a Page One headline: “GOP Has a Lightning Rod, And Her Name Is Not Palin.” She is, however, a petite pistol that occasionally goes off half-cocked.

Two things, George. First, that story sounds like something a legend in her own mind would make up. Second, half-cocked? Projecting, perhaps? Is that why you don’t like blue jeans? (Click on that link, dammit. It’s to a post I did on ol’ George over at the Big Orange, complete with lots of pix)


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Of the stupid people, for the stupid people, by the stupid people

From Leonard Pitts, Jr. at The Miami Herald:

Perhaps you are familiar with an old saying: Even a broken clock is right twice a day. I’ve found that maxim valuable as I wade through the recent hand-wringing and recrimination among journalists and their critics over the fact that most mainstream media were slow to pick up on the story of corruption at ACORN.

New York Times ombudsman Clark Hoyt (a former colleague) and Andrew Alexander, his counterpart at the Washington Post, are among those who have asked whether that laggard performance reflects an unfortunate deafness to conservative media.

As one of my readers put it, “There is a lot wrong with ACORN, and Fox was the only channel talking about it.”

I might join this pity party if I thought Fox a credible news source. I do not.


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(from not as right to far right) Greta I’m In Love With Todd Palin Van Susteren, Glenn Blechhh, Kimberly Inflate Lips to 32 lbs. Guilfoyle, Bill Falafel O’Reilly, Gretchen Wanna See My Tiara? Carlson, Sean Insanity, and Rupert Murdoch as Uncle Scam)
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The Color of Stupid

From the Los Angeles Times:

Fox News host Glenn Beck used his popular show Monday to attack the background of Van Jones, a White House environmental advisor and co-founder of an African American political advocacy group that organized an advertising boycott of his program.

Beck did not address the boycott spearheaded by Color of Change to protest the talk show host’s remark last month that he believes President Obama is “a racist.”

Instead, he spent a large share of his program suggesting that Jones, who co-founded Color of Change in 2005, is a radical.


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Look, Glennie, Gretchen Carlson still considers you one of her Fox and Friends’ friends. Be careful, though, as it appears that her lips have never stopped growing, and they may ‘splode at any moment.
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