Tag Archives: Illinois

Rowdy With a Chance of Screwballs

From Betsy Reed at THE Nation:

In the media spectacle that is the 2010 midterm elections, women of the GOP are playing starring roles. They have figured prominently in nearly every plot and subplot that holds any real interest or potential for debased amusement: from Indian-American Nikki Haley’s triumph over her mudslinging male rivals for the GOP gubernatorial nod in South Carolina, to Carly Fiorina’s catty open-mic swipe at her opponent Barbara Boxer’s hair in the first-ever contest between two women for a California Senate seat, to WWF founder and Connecticut Senate hopeful Linda McMahon’s gifts to oh-so-lucky Democratic ad firms (including video of the candidate physically attacking a buxom, scantily clad woman purporting to be her husband’s lover), to the daily dose of clips revealing Christine O’Donnell’s youthful preoccupations with witchcraft and masturbation. Remember when politics was boring?

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Filed under abortion, Alaska, Barbara Boxer, California, Congress, Democrats, Harry Reid, humor, Karl Rove, Lindsey Graham, Lisa Murkowski, Medicaid, Mitch McConnell, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Senate, snark, South Carolina, Wordpress Political Blogs

Delete the Press

From Greg Hinz at CHICAGO BUSINESS:

The Democratic and Republican nominees for the U.S. Senate, Alexi Giannoulias and Mark Kirk, gave their views on planning and environmental issues at a Metropolitan Planning Council lunch on Monday.

But the news was what happened afterward: Mr. Kirk literally ran out the hotel door rather than answer questions about a host of recent reports that he repeatedly has exaggerated his experience and credentials.

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Filed under Democrats, First Amendment, humor, John Cornyn, Media, Mitt Romney, movies, parody, Pentagon, politics, religion, Republicans, Senate, snark

The Mane Event

Back in January of last year, I wrote a diary over at the Big Orange with suggested hairstyles for whackadoodle (I mean, allegedly whackadoodle) Illinois ex-governor, Rod Blagojevich.  I wanted to make sure he made a good impression on the jury.  Yesterday, we talked about Carly Fiorina and her remark about Barbara Boxer’s hairdo being “so yesterday.” Now, we know that Carly’s hair is growing out after undergoing treatment for breast cancer, so I thought we would try to help her pick out a new style, if for no other reason than to show how bipartisan my advice is.

Here’s the first suggestion. Marge Simpson is a stay-at-home mother of three. I think that would sell well with the Tea Party base and evangelicals.

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Filed under Barbara Boxer, California, Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, Larry Craig, Mitch McConnell, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Senate, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Rod Blackojevich

From IMBd (The Jerk):

Navin R. Johnson: Huh? I am not a bum. I’m a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and… uh… my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi.

Rod Blagojevich:I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived, I saw it all growing up.

I kid you not.

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Filed under 2008 election, Barack Obama, Chimpy, Corruption, George W. Bush, humor, John Kerry, movies, parody, Patrick Fitzgerald, politics, Rahm Emanuel, Scandals, Senate, snark, Wiretaps, Wordpress Political Blogs

It’ll take a sorcerer to repair this guy’s image

From CHICAGO SUN-TIMES:

Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. Rock-star wife/TV personality Sharon Osbourne. Pro wrestler/actor Goldberg. Comic Sinbad.

Toss in a couple of former athletes, Australian TV chef Curtis Stone and Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks, and you have most of the season 3 cast of “The Celebrity Apprentice.”

Why, that’s Fantasia…I mean, fantastic!

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Donald Trump looks better, doesn’t he? I think he’s finally done something with his hair.
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Filed under Barack Obama, Democrats, humor, movies, parody, politics, Senate, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

Hide the Children!!!!

From Joan Walsh at Salon:

One of the greatest things about electing Barack Obama as president, for me, was his appeal to young people, especially disaffected kids of every group, including (OK, maybe especially) young African-Americans. In a country where schools are overcrowded and underfunded (as liberals complain), while many families and communities can’t or won’t take their kids’ education seriously enough (what conservatives and some liberals say), Obama has always been someone who’s able to balance both critiques. And he speaks to young people with passion, conviction and humor (plus references to L’il Wayne that John McCain couldn’t pull off) about taking responsibility for their own education.

So I was thrilled to hear he was going to deliver a back-to- school speech next week. I like seeing him play that paternal role, Father in Chief, not just for his own daughters, but for all of our children. All of our kids need to be reminded that education is a precious opportunity they must seize, whether they live behind the high gates of a tony private community or in a violence-plagued housing project. After all the fighting of the summer, finally something we can agree about, right?

Wrong.


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Filed under Barack Obama, Florida, George H. W. Bush, Glenn Beck, humor, John Kerry, John McCain, Michelle Malkin, movies, parody, politics, Racism, radio, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, Sarah Palin, snark, Texas, Wordpress Political Blogs

Statuary Undrape

From the Chicago Tribune:

WASHINGTON—After 78 years of standing in the Capitol, Thomas Starr King is on his way out, ousted by a better-known Californian —Ronald Reagan.

A bronze statue of Reagan, who was born and raised in Illinois, will soon replace that of the relatively obscure King as one of California’s two representatives in Washington’s version of a national hall of fame. The Reagan likeness will be unveiled in a June ceremony to be attended by former First Lady Nancy Reagan.

Well, thanks to your intrepid investigative reporter (that would be me, if you were wondering), we don’t have to wait until June! I have located the sculptor’s studio, and armed with my trust digital camera, I have recorded the statues he has been working on. Fittingly, that which Ronnie loved most is reflected in the artwork. No, not Nancy! Corporations!

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I like this one! It was during Ronnie’s time in office that the Clara Peller Where’s the beef? advertising campaign premiered. Perhaps, though, the question should be What the hell’s in the beef? after staff cutbacks at the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service!
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Filed under Advertising, California, Corporate greed, Environment, Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, Jimmy Carter, parody, politics, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

He’s a Fool All Year Long!

From The Huffington Post:

What do you get when you take an ignorant Republican Congressman and cross it with a serious policy issue like climate change?

Rep. John Shimkus (R-IL) shared a moment of sheer absurdity with Britain’s stuffiest global warming denier Lord Christopher Monckton in last week’s Energy & Commerce hearing on climate change adaptation. Please note, Monckton has no formal training in the science of climate change, but it was decided by the Republican members that he would make for great expert testimony at the hearing — no more suitable has the phrase WTF ever been.

…snip…

Shimkus encouraged Lord Monckton to talk about how Earth is a “carbon starved” planet, making it seem as though we desperately need to seek out new sources of CO2 emissions if we have any hope for survival as a species. After all, the pair agreed, “carbon dioxide is plant food,” so why on Earth would we want to cut carbon emissions from coal-fired power plants and other sources?

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Filed under Christianity, Environment, Global warming, House Energy and Commerce Committee, humor, movies, NASA, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs