Tag Archives: Keating Five

Don’t Dance, Don’t Tell

I just got home, and I have nothing prepared, so I’m dusting off another American Street oldie goldie. Since Captain Underpants is being a total dick about DADT, I picked out a post about him. It was originally posted on March 19, 2008.

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Hey kids! Anyone else watch Dancing With the Stars? Yeah, I admit it, I have watched every season. I am just getting over the nightmares I had last season after seeing the flesh on Wayne Newton’s face stretched so tight that, every time he raised his eyebrows, his manboobs jiggled. So anyway, I tune in to watch this season, and there’s Priscilla Presley with so much botox and collagen in her face that she has to wear this around her neck! Seriously, these people are so friggin’ rich, and they still can’t afford a plastic surgeon who doesn’t make people look like The Joker from Batman? She couldn’t even smile!!! I’m not kidding! I bet she has to eat through a straw, because I don’t think her jaw can move enough to chew! Seriously, you have to watch just to see her face!

But I digress. This isn’t about Dancing With the Stars, Mr. Danke Schoen, or Elvis’s ex. So what is this about? Damned if I remember. Hold on, I think I wrote it down somewhere……Oh, yeah!! It’s about Captain Underpants John McCain! Dancing John McCain!
It all started back in April of 2007. I reported on Captain Underpants’s John McCain’s trip to Baghdad. That’s when I first spotted his propensity for dancing.

(You can find a larger version and the song he was dancing to here. Go ahead, sing along. I’ll wait for you.)

Trip the light fantastic with me, and I will show you more of Captain Underpants’s John McCain’s twinkletoes, as well as some advice I have for him.
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Filed under 2008 election, Ann Coulter, Chimpy, Condoleezza Rice, George W. Bush, humor, Iraq War, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, Mitt Romney, parody, politics, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, Scandals, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

Don’t worry, Cindy Lou, you get pain meds after a nose job!

From The Christian Science Monitor:

Gilding the lily is nothing new to politics. From the 1840s when William Henry Harrison claimed to have been born in a log cabin (it was actually a Virginia plantation) to Ronald Reagan’s reminiscing about flying over Germany in World War II (he did, but only in a movie), politicians have taken perfectly good stories and embellished them.

This campaign is no exception.

…snip…

The latest embellishments come from the McCain camp. Cindy McCain has repeatedly referred to herself as an “only child.” This week came news that she actually has two half sisters, although apparently she had very little contact with them.

The McCain campaign had also put out the story that Mother Teresa “convinced” Cindy to bring home two orphans from Bangladesh in 1991.

Mrs. McCain, it turns out, never met Mother Teresa on that trip. (Once contacted by the Monitor, the campaign revised the story on its website.)

adventuresofpinocchio
Original DVD cover.
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Filed under 2008 election, Chimpy, George W. Bush, humor, Media, Mother Teresa, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, snark, Vietnam, Wordpress Political Blogs