Eddie Munster…I mean, Paul Ryan gets axed by Edd…I mean, Paul Ryan!

I’m sure by now you kids have heard that Eddie Mun…I mean, Paul Ryan has decided that he will not seek reelection and will leave his position as Speaker of the House at the end of his term in January. He gave a heartwarming statement, interrupted by the tears of his fellow Rethuglicans and the dancing of Kevin McCarthy who thinks he has a shot at the speakership. Here are snippets from Munst…I mean Ryan’s speech:

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Twitler opened his shithole, and shit fell out

From POLITICO:

President Donald Trump made racially-charged comments during a meeting on immigration with lawmakers on Thursday, asking why the U.S. admits people from “shithole countries,” according to two people familiar with the meeting.

The White House did not deny Trump made the remarks.

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They’d better hope shoe polish isn’t poisonous after all that bootlicking

From Chris Cillizza:

(CNN)—Congressional Republicans gathered at the White House Wednesday afternoon to celebrate the passage of a major tax cut bill with President Trump. It was a love-fest.

Front row: Orrin Hatch Middle row: Lisa Murkowski, Twitler, Diane Black Standing: Tim Scott, Kevin Brady, Mike Pence, Eddie Munst…I mean, Paul Ryan, Kevin McCarthy

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Shecky McCarthy

From GIZMODO:

Thanks to the ubiquity of recording devices and the duplicitousness of members of the GOP, we now know that top Republican congressmen were discussing potential collusion between Trump and Putin before he was even nominated. They didn’t care then and they don’t care now.

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Hey, as long as we’ve got the bus, might as well throw a few million people under it!

From THINK PROGRESS:

In the hours leading up to the House vote on the American Health Care Act (AHCA), Republicans prepared for victory in their push to repeal and replace Obamacare.

(Don’t squint, kids, you’ll get wrinkles. Click on the image for a larger version)

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Brat-worst!

Kids, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry (Boohoo Boehner always goes with the latter). Do we celebrate the demise of Widdle Ewic Cantor’s political career, or do we mourn the fact that Teabagger fruitcake David Brat just might be the next asswipe in Congress?

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Bridges to Somewhere

From THINK PROGRESS ECONOMY:

President Obama’s plan to kickstart the economy and put the American people back to work includes investing in the nation’s rapidly deteriorating infrastructure, which, as studies have shown, is in need of as much as $2 trillion in immediate investment just to bring it up to date. In the past, Republicans have agreed that infrastructure improvements are needed, but in the context of economic stimulus and in their effort to remain opposed to anything Obama offers, they have chosen to ignore the nation’s infrastructure and jobs crises. Unfortunately, that approach doesn’t mean either crisis will go away.

Republican leadership has continually blocked efforts by Obama and Congressional Democrats to invest in infrastructure improvements, and as a result, bridges and roadways in their states are crumbling. According to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, about 12 percent of the nation’s bridges are considered “structurally deficient,” the same rating given to the Minneapolis bridge that collapsed in 2007, killing 13 people.

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