Flop Go the Weasels

From The New York Times:

For 24 hours last week, Trey Gowdy, the former South Carolina congressman best known for leading congressional investigations of Hillary Clinton, was the new face of President Trump’s outside legal defense and a symbol of a streamlined effort to respond to a fast-moving impeachment inquiry.

A day later, the arrangement fell apart, with lobbying rules prohibiting Mr. Gowdy from starting until January, possibly after the inquiry is over. Now, according to two people familiar with events, Mr. Gowdy is never expected to join the team. And Trump advisers are back to square one, searching for a different lawyer.

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Eddie Munster…I mean, Paul Ryan gets axed by Edd…I mean, Paul Ryan!

I’m sure by now you kids have heard that Eddie Mun…I mean, Paul Ryan has decided that he will not seek reelection and will leave his position as Speaker of the House at the end of his term in January. He gave a heartwarming statement, interrupted by the tears of his fellow Rethuglicans and the dancing of Kevin McCarthy who thinks he has a shot at the speakership. Here are snippets from Munst…I mean Ryan’s speech:

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The Lobbying Epidemic

From The Charlotte Observer:

The drug epidemic of the 1980s and ’90s was horrific.

…snip…

That period is no longer considered the worst drug epidemic in the nation’s history. The ongoing opioid crisis has, unfortunately, taken that title – because no one was lobbying Congress on behalf of crack cocaine dealers the way they have for large drug companies. That’s the devastating finding from a joint investigation by “60 Minutes” and The Washington Post released last weekend. Between 2014 and 2016, the drug industry spent $106 million lobbying Congress for a law that makes it virtually impossible for the DEA to freeze suspicious narcotic shipments from the companies.

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Silencers

From ROMPER:

As the nation awakens to the deadliest mass shooting in its history, calls for gun law reform have clamored in the wake of at least 50 dead and another 400 people injured [59 dead, 527 hurt as of this posting]. As vocal as gun safety advocates have been since Sunday night’s horrific shooting, the NRA’s response to the Las Vegas shooting has been lacking, to say the least — as of Monday morning, the National Rifle Association had not yet issued a formal statement.

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When did he know? The sus-pence is killing me!

Washington (CNN) Vice President Mike Pence is standing by a March statement that he first learned of now-fired national security adviser Michael Flynn’s ties to Turkey from media reports, despite renewed scrutiny and revelations President Donald Trump’s transition team was made aware far earlier.

…snip…

But questions about what Pence knew and when are swirling thanks to new media reports about what Flynn revealed to Trump’s transition team, which Pence oversaw.

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Turkish Daffy

From CBS News:

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump was not aware that his former national security adviser, Michael Flynn, had worked to further the interests of the government of Turkey before appointing him, the White House says.

The comments came two days after Flynn and his firm, Flynn Intel Group Inc., filed paperwork with the Justice Department formally identifying him as a foreign agent and acknowledging that his work for a company owned by a Turkish businessman could have aided Turkey’s government.

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Bottled B.S.

From Slate Magazine:

When Sen. Marco Rubio took that awkward break from his State of the Union response to take a sip of water, some questioned whether it would mean the end of his political career. Instead, Rubio has shown how to capitalize on a viral sensation—even one that made him look bad—to raise some cash. The Florida senator has now raised more than $100,000 for his Reclaim America political action committee by offering a branded water bottle to anyone who donates $25 or more.

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I have questions, kids.  For example:

Polish Spring?  What’s wrong with American Spring or, at the very least, Freedom Spring?

Is Marco Rubio a Rethuglican because he has the same ears as Dumbo?  Seriously, I wouldn’t want to stand next to him in a strong windstorm.

Does he have any other credentials other than being Cuban?

Why does Dumbo Rubio love PACs so much?  Keep reading, kids…