Tag Archives: Melania Trump

The Worst Ladies

Oh, kids, you are gonna love this story! So, Ivana Trump, the first in a series of mistakes, wrote a book called Raising Trump. I guess she wants the rest of us to know how she bred and nurtured the three horrid grifters she squeezed out—Ivanka, her brother Daryl and her other brother Daryl— so that we don’t make the same mistakes. So, anyway, she managed to do an interview on Good Morning America through lips so inflated by fillers that is says 34 psi CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE inside her mouth, and she made a funny.  She said she has Twitler’s phone number at the White House, but she doesn’t call him, “because Melania is there. And I don’t want to cause any kind of jealousy or something like that, because I’m basically first Trump wife. Okay? I’m first lady.” Well, kids, Melanoma Melania was pisssssed!!!

HUMORESQUE

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Heckuva job, Brawny!

So, kids, Twitler showed up in Puerto Rico for his photo op, and, of course, he managed to fuck that up like he fucks everything else up. He played catch with paper towels while his trained Pomeranian Melanoma wife Melania stood around looking awkward in her new disaster-chic look.

northern paper towels

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Don’t give me credit for the fabulous title of this post, kids. That was tweeted by John Dingell, former Congressman from Michigan and national Twitter treasure.

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Drowning in Disgust

From NEWSWEEK:

President Trump’s former ethics chief said the president’s decision to show off a $40 Trump campaign merchandise baseball cap on a visit to storm-struck Texas raises ethics concerns.

The president was pictured wearing the Official USA 45th Presidential Hats in two pictures released by the White House over the weekend, and in TV footage of an official visit to the state Tuesday. Both hats, described as “Proudly Made in the USA,” are sold as merchandise via the Trump campaign website.

the search

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Father Knows Worst

From CBS News:

Following a report that President Trump dictated a statement to his son Donald Trump Jr. regarding his meeting with a Kremlin-linked lawyer, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders asserted that Mr. Trump only “weighed in” and “offered suggestions” on Trump Jr.’s statement.

“He certainly didn’t dictate,” Sanders said at a White House press briefing Tuesday afternoon. “But you know he — like I said he weighed in, offered suggestion, like any father would do.”

Any father whose kid is committing possible treason.
family ties

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French Horn(dog)

From Slate:

In the wake of an affectionate butt-tap between French president Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte, here’s some decidedly unromantic news out of Paris. A video of Donald Trump commenting on the French First Lady’s physique is making the rounds on Twitter, and it is about as unpleasant to watch as you might imagine.

an20american20werewolf20in20paris

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Ernest Hemmorhoid

From THE HILL:

President Trump’s former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski called Trump the “Hemingway of Twitter,” this week, following his tweets about MSNBC host Mika Brzezinski.

“He’s the Ernest Hemingway of Twitter,” Lewandowski said discussing Trump’s recent Twitter attacks on Fox News.

the old man and the sea

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Twitler’s Love of Pecker

You can’t make this shit up, kids! The Chairman and CEO of American Media and publisher of the toilet paper called The National Enquirer (among other tabloid rags) is name David….are ya ready?….Pecker!!! So, anyway, the latest is that the Twitler-loving Pecker has been bashing anyone Twitler perceives to be his enemies (like Joe Scarborough and bloody-faced girlfriend Mika Brzezinski) and covering up anything that might be detrimental to the Shithead-in-Chief. Put on your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride…

pecker

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