He wants to have you over for dinner!

From VICE:

“I’ll admit it … I’m literally looking at my neighbors now going ‘Am I ready to hang them up and gut them and skin them and chop them up?,’ and you know what, I’m ready.”

betty crocker chuck wagon helper

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Alex Jones seemingly hasn’t been doing so well lately. Things are so tough that he has pivoted to talking about his imminent cannibalism, and how he will kill and eat his neighbors.

“You think I like sizing up my neighbor, how I’m gonna haul him up by a chain? Chop his ass up? I’ll do it. My children aren’t going hungry,” Jones said on a recent episode of his live streamed radio show. He reiterated how he’s ready to resort to cannibalism several times. “I’ll admit it. I will eat my neighbors … I’m just gonna be honest … I’m literally looking at my neighbors now going ‘Am I ready to hang them up and gut them and skin them and chop them up?’ and you know what, I’m ready … I’ll eat my neighbors … I’ll eat your ass, I will,” he added, nodding.

The cannibalism clip is a stark reminder of how far Jones has fallen and what Jones always was—a doomsday carnival barker selling outrage to the gullible who, briefly, amassed an outsized amount of cultural cache.

Read the rest of the article for some history on this bloviating dangerous moron at the link above.

3 Comments

Filed under parody, snark, humor, politics, Republicans, satire, Advertising, Wordpress Political Blogs

3 responses to “He wants to have you over for dinner!

  1. He’s like Limbaugh on steroids! Like finding something really nasty under a rock!

    • I don’t know which one is more dangerous. I’m thinking Jones. They spew the same bullshit, but Jones does so in a more frantic way, and I’d guess his listeners are more apt to do crazy shit when enticed by the bullshit. That said, they are both loathsome opportunists who don’t believe 90% of what they say, but they know sells to the mouth-breathers who listen to them.

  2. Pingback: My Week on Crooks and Liars | Mock Paper Scissors

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