Let them eat anything but specifically designed gay cakes

From THE HILL:

Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced Monday that the Department of Justice is creating a “religious liberty task force.”

Sessions said the task force, co-chaired by Associate Attorney General Jesse Panuccio and the assistant attorney general for the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Policy, Beth Williams, will help the department fully implement the religious liberty guidance it issued last year.

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Not a “Nothing Burger,” a Weasel Burger!

From INDEPENDENT:

Long-time Trump Organisation CFO Allen Weisselberg has been subpoenaed, the Wall Street Journal reports. That should come as little surprise; he was invoked twice in Michael Cohen‘s taped conversation with President Donald Trump about buying the rights to former Playboy model Karen McDougal‘s story.

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Well, I’ll be a flying monkey’s uncle!

From NBC News:

President Donald Trump’s national security adviser, John Bolton, said Wednesday that any meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin would be put off until 2019 because of special counsel Robert Mueller’s “witch hunt.”

Witch hunt? Why, that can only mean one thing!

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Banana Republicans

From THE HILL:

Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) compared President Trump‘s consideration of a plan to strip half a dozen former national security and intelligence officials of their security clearances to “a banana republic kind of thing.”

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Jared Kushner, the only one in the White House who can get served in D.C.

From Bloomberg:

Soon after a New York federal judge said formal delivery of a lawsuit isn’t a “game,” Jared Kushner’s lawyer [Abbe Lowell] agreed to accept service of the Democratic National Committee’s April complaint accusing him of colluding with Russia to meddle in the 2016 election.

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Pruitt Protection Agency

From MarketWatch:

Employees at the Environmental Protection Agency were so worried that a fancy desk that their former boss Scott Pruitt had ordered for his office might contain high levels of a known carcinogen that they arranged to set it up in a warehouse and let it air out for a week.

The problem is that the same officials later blocked the release of a draft report prepared before President Donald Trump took office on the dangers of exposure to the same substance, formaldehyde, to the general public.

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Twitler: Pride Cometh Before McFaul

From WDEL:

A top Senate Republican leader blocked passage Thursday of a non-binding bipartisan resolution related to Russia’s interference in the 2016 election, as fallout from the controversial summit between President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin continued to reverberate through the GOP-controlled Congress.

Also, senators were set to vote within the hour on another resolution written by Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, a New York Democrat, that rejects a proposal from Putin that might allow the Russian government interview American officials, including former US ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul.

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A dyed-in-the-wool criminal

From Bloomberg:

Special Counsel Robert Mueller asked a judge to give immunity to five people who may testify at the bank-fraud trial starting next week against Paul Manafort, President Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman.

Uhoh! Pauly Walnuts had better pretty himself up for his trial! We know how vain he is.

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