Category Archives: Fox News

Make them all go first!

From HIVE at VANITY FAIR:

America is just over a week into the White House’s “Slow the Spread” coronavirus initiative, which recommends citizens practice social distancing and refrain as much as possible from leaving their homes. But Donald Trump has spent the past few days whining about the struggling stock market and signaling a return to business as usual, despite warnings from his own medical experts that an additional several weeks are necessary to contain the still-growing pandemic. Sending the country back into full-time work mode would undermine efforts to curb the outbreak and will almost certainly lead to more Americans dying—one worst-case model found that 2.2 million people could die if the outbreak is allowed to spread unmitigated. Right-wing media outlets know this, but they’re still backing the White House’s ill-advised pivot in near unison.

In fact, the death cult speed-run to save the stock market already has its first round of volunteers. On Monday night, Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick kicked things off by telling Tucker Carlson that he is ready “to take a chance on [my] survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves,” i.e. one in which business is booming. Carlson, who commended Patrick’s comments as a necessary “conversation,” discussed the proposal on Tuesday night with his colleague Brit Hume, who concluded that it is “an entirely reasonable viewpoint.”

death to smoochy covid19

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Filed under Fox News, Glenn Beck, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Texas, Tucker Carlson, Wordpress Political Blogs

Tom Cotton’s Balls

From BUSINESS INSIDER:

Republican Sen. Tom Cotton of Arkansas said he was looking into holding China “accountable” for the coronavirus pandemic that has caused the US to enact strict travel measures.

“I have every confidence America will once again marshal the resolve, toughness, and genius of our people to overcome the serious threat to our health and well-being posed by the Wuhan coronavirus,” Cotton said in a statement on Thursday.

johnson & johnson cotton balls (engagement font)

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Filed under Advertising, China, Fox News, humor, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, Senate, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

The First Strike

From THE HILL:

Rudy Giuliani’s associate Lev Parnas revealed new accusations against President Trump and his administration in an interview with MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Wednesday night.

They’re just being polite. Rudy Giuliani, Twitler, Mike Pompeo, Mike Pence, William Barr, John Bolton, Devin Nunes, Faux News talking asshole John Solomon and evil attorneys Victoria Toensing and Joe DiGenova had better hope Lev was wearing a condom, because he f#¢ked them but good, got the sheets wet and left without leaving any money on the nightstand.

 

bowling ball lev parnas

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Filed under Attorney General, Corruption, Fox News, House Intelligence Committee, humor, Joe Biden, John Bolton, MSNBC, parody, politics, Republicans, Rudy Giuliani, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Surely You Jest

From MEDIAITE:

Harvard Law Emeritus Alan Dershowitz fawned over President Donald Trump having powers “that kings have never had” as he dismissed the news that Don McGahn must testify before Congress.

the court jester

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Filed under Congress, Constitution, Executive privilege, Fox News, humor, Impeachment, Laura Ingraham, movies, music parody, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

End of the Road?

From DAILY BEAST:

During the first break in Wednesday’s impeachment hearings—which featured U.S. Ambassador to the EU and million-dollar Trump donor Gordon Sondland implicating President Donald Trump in a quid pro quo with Ukraine—Fox News anchor Chris Wallace declared that Sondland “took out the bus and ran it over” President Donald Trump and a number of his allies and aides.

“I think what Gordon Sondland was trying to do here is protect himself more than he is to protect anybody else,” Wallace said during Fox News’ special coverage.

“To a certain degree, he took out the bus and ran over President Trump, Vice President Pence, Mike Pompeo, John Bolton, Rudy Giuliani, Mick Mulvaney,” he added. “He implicates all of them.”

PAUL

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Filed under Fox News, humor, Impeachment, John Bolton, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Richard Nixon, Rudy Giuliani, satire, snark, State Department, Wordpress Political Blogs

Flop Go the Weasels

From The New York Times:

For 24 hours last week, Trey Gowdy, the former South Carolina congressman best known for leading congressional investigations of Hillary Clinton, was the new face of President Trump’s outside legal defense and a symbol of a streamlined effort to respond to a fast-moving impeachment inquiry.

A day later, the arrangement fell apart, with lobbying rules prohibiting Mr. Gowdy from starting until January, possibly after the inquiry is over. Now, according to two people familiar with events, Mr. Gowdy is never expected to join the team. And Trump advisers are back to square one, searching for a different lawyer.

howdy doody's circus

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Breaking News, Literally

From DAILY BEAST:

Fox News anchor Shepard Smith, a frequent target of President Trump’s attacks, is stepping down, the network confirmed Friday.

“Recently I asked the company to allow me to leave FOX News and begin a new chapter. After requesting that I stay, they graciously obliged. The opportunities afforded this guy from small town Mississippi have been many,” Smith said in a statement.

Nope, don’t think so! There’s another reason why Shep got the axe.

the sorcerer's apprentice

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