Make them all go first!


America is just over a week into the White House’s “Slow the Spread” coronavirus initiative, which recommends citizens practice social distancing and refrain as much as possible from leaving their homes. But Donald Trump has spent the past few days whining about the struggling stock market and signaling a return to business as usual, despite warnings from his own medical experts that an additional several weeks are necessary to contain the still-growing pandemic. Sending the country back into full-time work mode would undermine efforts to curb the outbreak and will almost certainly lead to more Americans dying—one worst-case model found that 2.2 million people could die if the outbreak is allowed to spread unmitigated. Right-wing media outlets know this, but they’re still backing the White House’s ill-advised pivot in near unison.

In fact, the death cult speed-run to save the stock market already has its first round of volunteers. On Monday night, Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick kicked things off by telling Tucker Carlson that he is ready “to take a chance on [my] survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves,” i.e. one in which business is booming. Carlson, who commended Patrick’s comments as a necessary “conversation,” discussed the proposal on Tuesday night with his colleague Brit Hume, who concluded that it is “an entirely reasonable viewpoint.”

death to smoochy covid19

Original DVD cover

Patrick isn’t the only Republican ready to risk it all for the Dow. In no uncertain terms, conservative pundit Glenn Beck voiced a similar eagerness on Wednesday following Trump’s Fox News town hall, during which the president pitched April 12 as a date for life to return more or less to normal. “I’m in the danger zone. I’m right at the edge, I’m 56,” the BlazeTV founder said from his home studio. “I would rather have my children stay home and all of us who are over 50 go in and keep this economy going and working, even if we all get sick, I’d rather die than kill the country. Cause it’s not the economy that’s dying, it’s the country.” This is quite a turnaround from Beck’s comments in 2009 when he criticized the Affordable Care Act for allegedly barring senior citizens from lifesaving care. “We care about the elderly…. We value life in this country,” he said at the time. “And when you start devaluing life, then you’re in trouble.”

NOTE: Glenn Blech (who is apparently on leave from his job at Kentucky Fried Chicken as the new Colonel) was probably speaking from the basement of his gated-community home with not another person in sight. But I digress…


On Wednesday, the United States had reported more than 61,000 coronavirus patients and 849 deaths, according to Johns Hopkins University. And with Trump’s plan to jump the gun on preventive measures, the chances of America outpacing the rest of the world seem increasingly likely.


Apparently unfazed by this, Fox News regular and radio host Buck Sexton wants America “to go back to work very soon, even if that means there are more casualties from COVID-19 than would occur under this continued extreme shutdown…It is reality and we need to accept and act on it.” (Sexton eventually deleted his tweet without explanation, but the sentiment remains.) Fox News anchor Ed Henry posed the same question in a slightly more humane way while on air Wednesday. “Now, every life matters and you don’t want to minimize any of them, but, when the mortality rate is that low, what is the balance?”

Let the death panels commence.


Filed under Fox News, Glenn Beck, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Texas, Tucker Carlson, Wordpress Political Blogs

22 responses to “Make them all go first!

  1. vincelamb

    I took one look at the preview on Twitter and knew it had to be a parody of “Death to Smoochy!” Sure enough, it is. Brilliant!

    As for the actual subject of the post, the rich and their apologists want the elderly among the working and middle class to die for their profits. Now I feel like looking for words of prophets to type in return. Jeremiah comes to mind.

    • I think this is the third or fourth time I’ve used a Death to Smoochy poster. It’s very versatile!

      Let’s be clear. They don’t want to die, and they don’t want other rich Rethugs to die. Rupert Murdoch, their fearless leader, just canceled his birthday party (I think he turned 137), and you can be sure it wasn’t to protect anyone other than himself. They want the unwashed masses to croak. Then they won’t have to worry about all those parasite getting the money they paid into Social Security. They are all cowards who would jump into a walk-in bathtub of hand sanitizer if anyone sneezed within 10 feet of them.

      I’ve never read the Bible (I think I saw the movie), so I am not familiar with Jeremiah. The only think I know about him is that he was a bullfrog.

  2. THIS IS A KEEPER! Be sure to post this on Twitter and do you do Instagram? I LOVE the logo, I love the refs. YOU are so clever!

    What happened to the GOP outrage about Obama’s “Death Panels,” which was all about killing off Grandma. Now, it’s fine, let’s NOW think of the grandkids.

    The tragedy of this are the many people buying into all this crap. We are so doomed. No way out.

    • Jenny! What a nice surprise! This is like seeing one of your teachers at the supermarket. It takes a minute to compute. I’m so used to seeing you on Twitter. Welcome to The Raisin!

      I did post this on Twitter and Facebook. Alas, I don’t do Instagram. I have nothing against it. It’s just that I am technically challenged, and it would take me months to figure out how to navigate over there.

      Don’t think that any of those assholes wouldn’t shove a sick child out of a hospital bed in order to be treated themselves.

      Thanks for the nice surprise. Stop by anytime! ❤

  3. therub

    i’m actually surprised the wealthy agreed to social distancing at all. they had the prime opportunity to encourage us all to keep working and hanging out in large crowds in order to thin out the labor force so social security wouldn’t pay out as much and the survivors would be clamoring for below minimum wage jobs. i guess they finally figured this out so are now back peddling while they remain in their gated communities as their valets and servants risk their lives to keep their refrigerators and wine cellars stocked.

    • Loonie, they only agree when the optics get really bad if they don’t. They don’t give a shit about the unwashed masses until their bottom line or life of leisure is at risk. These assholes, I assure you, have access to tests, masks, gloves and any kind of sanitation products they could ever need. If you asked them to donate any of them, you can bet your bottom dollar they would find an excuse as to why they can’t do that. They have no intention of sacrificing themselves or their way of life. They are just trying to convince those stupid enough to be mesmerized by Twitler to sacrifice themselves in the name of some phony patriotism.

  4. I take comfort in how great the governors and local governments have been about this, even some of the Republican governors. Trump and Fox News can flap their lips all they want, but the governor of my state is not going to listen to him and she will enforce social distancing as needed.

    And, you know, if some of these Republicans wish to be suicidal for Dear Leader, I would say knock yourselves out…the problem is, of course, that the rest of us would be affected by their idiocy as well!

    • Eurobrat! So good to see you! I hope you and your family are safe and well.

      I take comfort in Cuomo, Inslee, Whitmer and Hogan (one of the few somewhat decent Rethugs). I take no comfort in the shithead racist in Tallahassee. He won’t be happy until he kills us all. I saw an article today. He is only listening to the Chamber of Commerce, the Florida Restaurant and Lodging Association and other big business groups who financed his campaign. I also read today that the shithead governor in Mississippi not only won’t shut anything down, but he outlawed any mayors shutting down any places. They care about nothing but money. Would it be wrong to hope every one of them catches the virus from a dollar bill?

      • Oh, good grief…I didn’t even know they were able to do that! (Outlaw the mayors shutting anything down.) New levels of stupidity… You know, I’ve reached the point where I’m actually happy to hear when some of those shitheads test positive for the virus…I hate myself for it, but it’s how I feel.

        • I know just how you feel. When I saw no Democrats were invited for the signing in the Oval Office, I was relieved. Let all the Rethugs breathe the same rancid air as they stand shoulder to shoulder instead of practicing what they preach. Speaking of preaching, I just read about a preacher who downplayed the the coronavirus as just the media “pumping out fear.” He went down the New Orleans to wash it of sin. He got sick, went home with his wife, and went to the hospital where he died. He was 66. I’m finding it very difficult to give a shit. Maybe I’m just a shitty person, but I feel bad for the people he might have infected, not for him.

          • Eurobrat is right. With infections increasing almost tenfold each week, by Easter the situation will be so bad that no one will pay any attention to a get-back-to-work exhortation from Trump except the most besotted Trumpanzees.

            Religionists seem prone to thinking the rules don’t apply to them. I’ve heard of two churches (one in Arkansas, the other in Illinois), which held group events in the last few days, with dozens of people being infected in each case. A Sikh guru in India recently returned from a trip to Italy and immediately went on a preaching tour of 15 villages before he finally collapsed and died of covid-19, and now all those villages are under tight quarantine.

            Natural selection in action.

            • Don’t forget Liberty University. Jerry Falwell’s evil spawn and poolboy enthusiast opened the school, and now a dozen students are showing symptoms of COVID-19. He’s a fake zealot and an asshole, which is no excuse, but what the fuck is wrong with the parents who sent their kids back there? There is no excuse. They are no better than the anti-vaxxer asshole mother who went to Facebook for advice on what to do with her kids who had the flu and were really sick. She ignored a doctor and took their advice instead, and her 4-year-old is dead. I have no sympathy for her whatsoever. No matter how brainwashed you are, when it comes to your child, the instinct to protect them should kick in, The Twitler cult, including the evangelical hypocrites will own the Libs by sacrificing their own children. If their Hell does, indeed, exist, I hope they all go there. In the meantime, they will have their Hell on earth when they go into their children’s forever empty bedrooms.

          • No, that’s totally fine and you are not a shitty person. When I saw that the Virginia preacher who talked about this being just media hysteria died, my immediate reaction was “wow, sometimes karma works!” I actually felt like more of a spiritual person in that moment…hahahaha….

      • Apologies, but I’m jumping in with my 2 cents.
        Yes, it would to hope every one of them catches the virus from a dollar bill. Much better to hope that every one of them catches the virus from a Benjamin. The less well off are much less likely to have those lying around so it is a simple way of containing that particular infection item to those with less control over this mess.

        • Sorry, meant to reply to nonnie999 – “would it be wrong to hope every one of them catches the virus from a dollar bill?” I missed a bit in my copy/paste.

          • Hello MDavis,

            Welcome to The Raisin! 😀

            You make an excellent point. Don’t endanger the unwashed masses anymore than they are already endangered. Let the ultra-wealthy catch the virus from the $100 bills they use to light their cigars.

            Thanks for stopping by and making me see the error of my ways. Hope you will stop by again.

  5. Your shit head gov will not allow the cruise ship to disembark and there are Floridians on that ship, because he does not want to add more infected people to the Florida population. Why not set up field hospitals to quarantine those folks and allow the sick ones to be treated? What else will all the repubs pull that shows just how ignorant and callus they are? He allowed all those college kids to come on down because he knew it was a money making affair. I happened upon this post by hunting for you. Still not getting notices, but oh well.

    • Racist Ronnie DeSantis is a piece of shit. I read an article today that ranked the best and worst governors. He was ranked the worst, but he was also described as “a potential 2024 presidential prospect.” Excuse my French, but who the fuck would ever consider him a presidential prospect? He’s been sitting around with his dick in his hand while his corporate donors tell him what to do. Then he blamed the CDC for not telling him what to do.

      As for the ship, I am reminded of the St. Louis in 1939, when a shipload of Jews fleeing the Holocaust were denied safe landing in the US. Instead of being allowed to disembark in Miami, 900 Jews were sent back, and a third of them were murdered. While not exactly the same, the rhetoric sure sounds familiar. They aren’t all Americans, so who gives a shit what happens to them? Racist Ronnie is more concerned about how the stats will look instead of anyone’s lives, including Floridiots.

      • The murders of the Jews that were sent back is a good analogy in my opinion., I never knew that and it is more than depressing to learn about that. Yes. he I DeSantis is a dick head. I as well can’t not fathom him as candidate for the WH. Gee whiz he could not be worse. But then I still can’t understand why Florida is a red state. Just like Texas some states turned upside down and now there are rabid Twilter supporters in Texas. It is disheartening. It was red of course before Twitler but none the less. Folks are totally nuts here.