From the Washington Post:
Still looking for that last-minute Christmas gift for White House press secretary Dana Perino? May we recommend a gift certificate for the forthcoming book on the Cuban Missile Crisis by our colleague Michael Dobbs, “One Minute to Midnight: Kennedy, Khrushchev, and Castro on the Brink of Nuclear War,” due out next summer?
Appearing on National Public Radio’s light-hearted quiz show “Wait, Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me,” which aired over the weekend, Perino got into the spirit of things and told a story about herself that she had previously shared only in private: During a White House briefing, a reporter referred to the Cuban Missile Crisis — and she didn’t know what it was.
“I was panicked a bit because I really don’t know about . . . the Cuban Missile Crisis,” said Perino, who at 35 was born about a decade after the 1962 U.S.-Soviet nuclear showdown. “It had to do with Cuba and missiles, I’m pretty sure.”
So she consulted her best source. “I came home and I asked my husband,” she recalled. “I said, ‘Wasn’t that like the Bay of Pigs thing?’ And he said, ‘Oh, Dana.’
She is bragging about how uninformed she is? Well, that deserves nothing less than a song!
To the tune of Wonderful World, written by: Sam Cooke, Lou Adler, Herb Alpert, performed by Sam Cooke (very cool video!):
Don’t know much about history,
Why I’m here’s a mystery,
Never opened any science books,
I was hired strictly for my looks.Though my answers make your hair curl,
It’s not nice to beat up on a girl,
And that’s why I’m press sec-re-tar-y.Don’t know much about geography,
(My boss knows even less than me,)
I’m like Chimpy, ‘cept I wear a bra,
As I shit upon the rule of law.Really don’t know very much at all,
So I stammer and dodge and stall
That’s my job as press sec-re-tar-y.Now, you know, I work for a C student,
Dumb as he can be,
But maybe they think, if I do the talking,
He’ll look smart compared to me!Don’t know much about ecology,
Not a clue ’bout the economy,
I know that I sound really dumb,
As I stand behind the podium,But Karl Rove seems to see some promise,
In my answers to Helen Thomas,
He’s got to be dumber than me!Latatatatatatahuwaah (history)
Oehwoewoe (mystery)
Latatatatatatahuwaah (science books)
Oehwoewoe (hired for my looks)Really don’t know very much at all,
So I stammer and dodge and stall
That’s my job as press sec-re-tar-y.
HYSTERICAL RAISINS 
Bravo, nonnie! Great parody of a wonderful song. Perfect for the Bush Bunch. “Don’t know much about nothin’ at all….”. Everytime I hear a reference to, “The Pet Goat”, the line about, “…looked at the pictures and I turned the pages…”, comes to mind. LOL. I love the button. It would also, make an excelent bumper sticker.
Why oh why did you have to pick on Dana?? Your just mad the best looking thing on the lefty team is Pelosi…
I am still trying to gather thoughts on how libs are destroying America… it’s so obvious that if you haven’t understood by now, I feel I may be wasting my time…. but I’m slowly pecking away at it…
Murtha’s pretty smart & hot too…
Oh, silly TRM, are you suggesting that it’s better to be pretty than smart? Why can’t it be both? I was pretty and smart once. Now I’m just smart (getting old is hell, you know).
Or maybe you prefer that special brand of plastic people that republicans are always so taken with. I bet you’re a Willard guy, aren’t you?
Keep working on that list of how we “libs” are destroying America. I can’t wait to see what you come up with. I love good fiction….
fotc,
i thought i was going nuts. i could have sworn that there was a verse about the middle ages and turning the pages, yet every version i found didn’t include it. i think the sam cooke version doesn’t include it, and the james taylor one does. whatevah. it is one of my favorite songs, too.
glad you enjoyed it. it was fun to write. here’s a verse i wrote but had to take out. it would have been in there, instead of the part that begins, “Now, you know, I work for a C student…”
You can have the IQ of a ferret,
To get White House gigs,
Rethugs will tell you, it’s all based on merit,
(That’s as kosher as a Bay of Pigs!)
You are all mean and do not play nice…….. wheres my anthrax and stamps….
oh, trm, ye of such little taste. how can we trust your assessment of dana the spokesmodel, when you have already confessed to us that chimpy gets you aroused?
Paul Simon did the cover with the middle ages verse, I believe. “Don’t know much about the rise and fall, don’t know much about nothin’ at all”.
i don’t remember paul simon singing that, only james taylor. i will have to look for it on youtube. i only hope i am able to find it before i get the envelope of anthrax from trm.
Yeah, and TRM thinks Murtha’s “pretty hot.” I’m a Dem and I don’t even think THAT!
TRM, if you must send anthrax and your using up a stamp, anyway, please remember that tomarrow is my birthday and include an appropriate card.
nonnie, I just LOVE it when you do musical parody!
fotc is right, this is perfect for the Bush Bunch – and you’ve executed it perfectly, too. Rhythm, rhyme, cadence, and meaning all done “just right.” The embedded links are fantastic, too. Encore!
The cover is so cute, too. Is that a real button available to buy or one of your inventions? If you made it up, you should sell it at Cafe Press!
nightowl,
it has been quite a while since i did a music parody. i have had ideas for quite a few of them, but either didn’t have the time or the inclination to actually do them. don’t know much about history was going to be the title of the diary, but then i figured, oh, what the hell, might as well actually write it. glad you enjoyed it.
the button is just something i slapped together in photoshop. dana looked like she needed a little something to contrast with that boring jacket.
You’re right, fotc, I have an old tape somewhere of Paul Simon doing this song live, and it had that verse in it. Don’t know about James Taylor, but I do remember the Paul Simon version. That was one of my favorite albums…..
maybe i hit the jackpot:
http://tinyurl.com/2ez8y2
simon & garfunkel & james taylor!
“With the help of your friends” to find those lyrics, you’ll finally be able to sleep again – until, that is the Money Pit crew calls or shows up again!
the money pit crew of one comes back tomorrow. he showed up yesterday (after not showing up all day) to tell me that he didn’t show up, but would show up tomorrow (which was today), only to call to tell me he would be late, but then called again to say he wouldn’t be showing up and will show up tomorrow.
it never ends.
I hope you haven’t had to “hold it in” all this time! No wonder you get so cranky…
the only thing i have to hold is my breath. i hold my breath wondering if the money pit crew is going to show up and finish, and i hold my breath so i am not constantly inhaling chunks of wallboard and insulation. of course, you never have to hold your breath waiting for them to cash the checks. they seem to always be on time for that part of the job.