Did you see the Stormtroopers…I mean, the Rethuglicans, butt-hurt that the Dems (and other Rethugs) were holding a hearing in which a top Defense Department official was suppose to testify about Twitler’s dealings with Ukraine, storm the closed-door hearing?
(Click on poster for larger version)
They were led by Matt “Blotto” Gaetz of Floriduhhh. Alex “Flounder” Mooney of West Virginia showed up in the SCIF (Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility) with his cellphone (which just happens to be against the rules and, possibly, federal law). He tweeted “BREAKING–> My report from inside the SCIF hearing room where we are exposing Adam Schiff’s secret so-called impeachment inquiry.” Then he posted a breathless video and said, “I’m proud that over 30 members of Congress, including our whip, Steve Scalise, walked into that room and demanded transparency and justice for our president.”
Joining Blotto and Flouder and Minority Whip Steve “Otter” Scalise (LA) were Louie “Weasel” Gohmert (TX), Steve “Incest Is Best” King (IA), Mark “Boomboom” Walker (NC), Jody “Pinto Bean” Hice (GA), Mo “Mo-Ron” Brooks (AL) Buddy “Marmalard” Carter (GA), Doug “Wormer” LaMalfa (CA), Gary “Hairy Palm” Palmer (AL) and Bill “Babs” Johnson (OH), and others.
The standoff lasted about 3 hours. The boys of Smegma House, I mean, the Rethugs ordered pizza and left the empty boxes all over the SCIF when they were done. Laura Cooper, the deputy assistant secretary of Defense for Russia, Ukraine and Eurasia, walked out, but she returned and testified 5 hours later, and Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Adam Schiff, put the
Smegmas Rethugs on double-secret probation.