Scooter Cohen and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Twitler’s loudmouth troubleshooter,
Thinks he’s smarter than the prosecutor,
He thought no one would log,
His side trip to Prague,
Now he’s changing his first name to Scooter.

pros and cons

Original DVD cover

From New York Magazine DAILY Intelligencer:

It was a balmy Friday in New York City, but Michael Cohen probably wasn’t in a very bright mood.

It has been an extremely terrible day for President Trump’s personal lawyer/fixer/capo. First, prosecutors revealed in court documents that the raiding of Cohen’s home and office on Tuesday was spurred by a criminal investigation over his business dealings that has been going on for months, completely separate from Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s probe.


Then, The Wall Street Journal reported, seemingly out of the blue, that Cohen had facilitated a payment to a former Playboy model who had become pregnant after an affair with prominent Republican fundraiser Elliott Broidy — an arrangement that echoed similar arrangements between President Trump and Stormy Daniels, as well as Karen McDougal.

But Friday wasn’t done with Cohen yet. Hours later, in what may have been the worst news of the day for him, ABC News reported that the FBI had seized audio recordings from his office during their raid.


Earlier on Friday, President Trump had pardoned George W. Bush official Scooter Libby, [Deadeye Dick Cheney’s Chief of Staff who took the fall for him,] in what seemed to be a clear signal to his many legally imperiled associates that they need not fear the long arm of the law if they choose to do Trump a solid and not rat on him.

One problem for Cohen — who is known to be very loyal to the president — is that the rap against him may include state charges, meaning that a presidential pardon wouldn’t necessarily help his case.

The Cohen episode has clearly rattled the president, even beyond his usual fragile mental state.


UPDATE: Cohen’s Friday somehow took a turn for the even worse in the early evening. McClatchy reported that Mueller had obtained evidence of Cohen traveling to Prague in 2016 — a trip he had vigorously, if unconvincingly, denied making.


Filed under Chimpy, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, movies, Pardons, parody, politics, Presidential pardon, Republicans, Robert Mueller, satire, Scooter Libby, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

11 responses to “Scooter Cohen and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

  1. the rub

    can’t you just see all the hollywood screenwriters and novelists frantically writing their mystery crime novels and movies about this chapter of american history? there’s so much corruption that there’s bound to be sequels and serial volumes of this continuing nightmare. comey’s book is just the tip of the iceberg.

  2. If all the Trump shenanigans (I am using the term lightly here) were not so bad/sad it would be an un-surpassed comedy. It just keeps getting better with each passing day. One pay off after the other, lies on top of lies, a presidency run by an ego maniac who is corrupt to the gills and who has surrounded himself, it seems, with every possible person who has or is living a life of corruption/treason.

    Can it all get any worse? Well, I am afraid it can and is, day by day the American way.

    And I agree with “the rub” that this is a best seller., Better yet, all involved will be making a pretty [penny when they pen their WH experience/s or how ever they were involved with Twittles/er.

    Comey’s book hit the nail on the head and according to Twittles/er he said something to the effect, ” it was my great privilege to fire the scum bag.” Not the exact words but along those lines. Twittles/er just did not know who he had crossed and I applaud Comey for writing the book. I saw excerpts of his interview with George S. and it was an eye opener and funny as well.

    • You can throw out Comey’s book and Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal and all that other stuff, and Twitler is still going to lose his shit because of THE TAPES. Scooter Cohen must have a treasure trove of incriminating shit on them, and I suspect most of it will lead to indictments and arrests by the state authorities, not federal. Twitler’s pardoning power won’t mean shit. That’s why the bombs flew over Syria last night. I bet Twitler is not the only one shitting bricks over THE TAPES. Don’t forget that Scooter Cohen is the deputy finance chairman of the RNC. There is going to be so much shit flying, THE TAPES are going to make the DC Madam’s little black book look like a Dr. Suess book. 😆

      • Noonie you have made me laugh. I think you are 100% correct about all those tapes. Who would have thought that the so- called, Trump savior, would actually be the one to hopefully take him down.

        I like DC Madam’s little black book looking like a Dr Suess book. Too funny.

        Truthfully Twitller is looking as if he has aged about 10 years since taking the over the firing line- of WH employees. That is about all he is suited for or not in some cases.

  3. This story will lead to Trump crimes, i’m Sure. Should have stuck to realty TV, Donnie, cause real reality is gonna suck very soon.

    • THE TAPES!THE TAPES!THE TAPES!THE TAPES! There are a lot of Scooter Cohen’s associates are clearing all of Walgreen’s and CVS’s shelves of every box of Imodium! All attention might turn from Robert Mueller to the AGs of New York and probably some other states. Impeachment might be the very least of Twitler’s problems. I wonder how long before Jarvanka take off for Israel and apply for citizenship.

  4. Pardoning Looter Scibby was a giant middle finger to the intelligence community. Trump may or may not have meant it that way, but that’s how they’ll take it. Not a smart move.

    I wonder whether anyone’s even told him he can’t pardon for state charges.

    Apparently, payoffs to women for keeping quiet about sleeping with Republicans form a major part of our country’s underground economy. Combining that with what these Jabba-esque creatures probably had to pay them to sleep with them in the first place, no wonder the economy is still booming.

    • Twitler was definitely giving the middle finger to Comey when he pardoned Looter Scibby (I like that!) as well as signalling others to keep their mouths shut or to lie to the Grand Jury. Not a very smart move. Despite what Sarah Chuckleberry says, most of the FBI rank and file sided with Comey and were pissed that he was fired. They also hold the law in high esteem, unlike Twitler. He didn’t do himself any favors.

      I mentioned the DC Madam above. Remember the shockwaves that sent through DC? I think that’s going to look like a drain backing up compared to the tsunami that will occur once we here THE TAPES! THE TAPES! THE TAPES! Can you tell I’m excited about THE TAPES!?