Eddie Munster…I mean, Paul Ryan gets axed by Edd…I mean, Paul Ryan!

I’m sure by now you kids have heard that Eddie Mun…I mean, Paul Ryan has decided that he will not seek reelection and will leave his position as Speaker of the House at the end of his term in January. He gave a heartwarming statement, interrupted by the tears of his fellow Rethuglicans and the dancing of Kevin McCarthy who thinks he has a shot at the speakership. Here are snippets from Munst…I mean Ryan’s speech:

paul bunyan paul ryan

Original comic book cover

“You realize something when you take this job, it is not a job that lasts forever. You realize you hold the office for just a small part of our history, so had you better make the most of it and make the lives of the elderly, the poor and the disabled as miserable as possible while pandering to rich donors, corporations and all the lobbying firms that will be offering me lucrative jobs in February.

“More importantly, it has recently come to my attention that I have a wife and three children in Wisconsin. I don’t want to be just a weekend dad. There is simply no way to manage to have time with the Koch brothers my family and force them to read every book written by Ayn Rand  when the House is in session an average of 138 days a year.”

Don’t worry about Edd…Paul Ryan, kids. Look how well John Boohoo Boehner is doing in his new budding career!






Filed under Comic books, Congress, humor, John Boehner, Medicaid, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

11 responses to “Eddie Munster…I mean, Paul Ryan gets axed by Edd…I mean, Paul Ryan!

  1. Jim

    I remember that issue of Illustrated Classic Asses from yute days. Good times!

    • Hi Jim,

      That’s amazing that you remember that particular issue. I vaguely remember comic books like that, but I don’t think I actually remember any particular issue.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting! 😀

  2. the rub

    he wants to be with his family. isn’t that nice. such a kind heart.

    • Well, pushing Granjny’s wheelchair off the cliff counts as spending time, right?

    • He suddenly remembered he has a family. He hasn’t had a town hall meeting in his district in years. However, he found time to have one (private, of course, so it really wasn’t a town hall) down in Texas this month. Why didn’t he fly home to see his kids instead?

      He’s full of shit. He’s trying to make it sound noble that he’s sticking it out until the end of his term in January. The only reason he’s doing that is so he can have 3 full years as Speaker, so his pension goes up. When his father died, he survived on Social Security survivor benefits. That’s what put him through college. He spent his career trying to screw over the elderly, disabled and poor. He wanted to make sure nobody got the same benefits that he received. Now that he’s “retiring,” he will have full benefits and a healthy pension, courtesy of the government. Hypocrisy so exquisite, it could be an opera.

  3. Let’s hope Trump gets stepped on. Along with the teabag-festooned Republican shack in which their whole Congressional caucus is no doubt cowering.

    • I made a poster a while back when Eddi…I mean, Paul Ryan was telling everyone how Twitler was new to politics, and everyone should cut him some slack. I used Driving Miss Daisy as my inspiration. The end of Eddi…I mean Paul Ryan’s career is more akin to him and Twitler going over a cliff like Thelma and Louise. The fact that the latter stars Susan Sarandon makes the irony even more ironic.