Hey, kids, did you see the debate last night? If you didn’t, I’ll tell you in a nutshell what happened. Forgive me if I missed some of the visual stuff, because they panned the New Hampshire audience, and I was temporarily blinded by the glaring whiteness.
It started with a kid-off. For some reason, Rethugs think that having more kids and grandkids means that you’re more qualified to be president. Everyone bashed the Affordable Care Act (a/k/a ObamaCare) and talked about jobs, jobs, jobs, even though none of them had any plans to create any other than the usual tax cuts.
The Ken doll Mittsie just stood around in his lucky magic underwear within his invisible shield, where nobody could wound him. Timmeh was so chicken, Sue Lowden could have bartered him for a colonoscopy. When asked about his remark about ObamneyCare, he froze like a deer in headlights and danced away backward from that remark as quick as you could say Ginger Rogers.
Original movie poster
(Click on image and then on that for larger version)
1. Sarah Palin
2. Michele Bachmann
3. Tim Pawlenty
4. Rick Santorum
5. Newt Gingrich
6. Mitt Romney
7. Herman Cain
8. Ron Paul
9. Rick Perry
10. Jon Huntsman
Herman Cain continued his bigoted anti-Muslim rant. Rick Santorum made sure everyone knows that he’s totally and completely and without even a shadow of a doubt, against abortion with no exceptions whatsover
even though his wife had one. Then he bled from his hands and feet. Ron Paul was Ron Paul. Batshit Bachmann stole the show, first by announcing that she’s running, declaring that Barack Obama will be a one-term president, saying that gay marriage laws should be up to individual states, and then saying she’d pass a federal marriage law saying marriage would be only between a man and a woman. You figure it out, I can’t. She said other stuff, but I missed it, because I was so distracted by the fact that her eyebrows never moved. I might have to change her name to Botox Batshit Bachmann. Her main accomplishment was standing under the hot lights without her trowel-applied makeup sloughing off. Oh, and Newt Gingrich was there. Most talking heads agree that Mittsie was the big winner, followed by Batshit Bachmann. The biggest losers were Princess Sarah (who has been replaced by Batshit Bachmann) and Timmeh, who looked like a total wuss. Of course, Jon Mr. Excitement Huntsman is going to announce and try to be Mittsie Light. The big game-changer might be if and when Governor Little Ricky Goodhair decides to enter the race. One disastrous Texas governor wasn’t enough for some people.
When all was said and done, I have a feeling what most in the audience were really thinking…