Well, kids, the worst has happened (until the next worst happens), and Jeff Beauregard Sessions is now the Attorney General of the United States. Since the Department of Justice has a new
dickhead, it should have a new seal to reflect his values.
Hey, kids, remember how quiet Yertle McConnell has been when it comes to all the shit spewing out of Hair Furor’s mouth and President Steve Bannon’s pen? Well, I guess the honeymoon is finally over. A straw finally broke the elephant’s back.
From USA TODAY ON POLITICS:
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he doesn’t view Russian President Vladimir Putin in the same way that President Trump does.
During an interview on CNN’s State of the Union, the Kentucky Republican called Putin a “thug” and former KGB agent who was not elected in a way most would consider “a credible election.” Putin also invaded the sovereign nation of Ukraine and “messed around in our elections,” said McConnell.
I was watching TV news this morning, and up popped a picture of Mike Pence. I don’t know what was being discussed, because all I could think of was how much he resembles an egg. Maybe you can blame it on the fact that I hadn’t had breakfast yet, or maybe it’s because….
See what I mean, kids? I wasn’t yolking. Suddenly, everything made a little more sense!
(Uh oh! Ham isn’t kosher. What about Ivanka?)
So, anyhoo, Vice President Ovum was on Meet the Press today. Keep reading and find out how he got egg all over his face!
Just kidding, there’s nothing good here, just the alternative…
Wanted to introduce a couple of new hires in Twitler/President Bannon’s world who will fit right in with Kellyanne Alternative Facts Conway, Sean Shitstain Spicer and three-time-loser of The Apprentice Omarosa Manigault (I thought Tangerine Tyrant didn’t like losers).
By the way, do you like the way everyone is dressed?
David Brooks gave St. Ronald Reagan a tongue bath before he got to this:
The mood of the party is so different today. Donald Trump expressed the party’s new mood to David Muir of ABC, when asked about his decision to suspend immigration from some Muslim countries: “The world is a mess. The world is as angry as it gets. What, you think this is going to cause a little more anger? The world is an angry place.”
Someone who used the name El Jamon from New York posted this response. I wish I knew who he was so I could give him a giant hug:
I am not a wealthy man. According to Donald Trump, I would be a loser. I changed diapers. I am an attentive, nurturing father. I built a modest business. I am devoted to my spouse. We’ve been through thick and thin, better or worse and we still remain devoted and deeply in love. Our home is modest. Our car is not luxurious. I served my country and paid for college myself, without ever taking a loan or dime from my parents. And I am happy because I am grateful. Every single day, I am grateful for this life, better or worse, rich or poor. I’m even grateful for the trials and struggles I’ve had. I’m grateful for the wisdom life’s difficulties and set backs have provided. The man in the gilded tower is not grateful.
So, if you’ve been watching TV news lately, you would know that Donald Trump is softening…or hardening his stance on immigration. According to new campaign manager and supposedly brilliant strategist Kellyanne Conway, she doesn’t know shit and won’t know until Wednesday when her boss makes his big immigration speech. Will there be a deportation force to rid the country of all immigrants here illegally? Well, maybe, but maybe not, because Kellyanne said Trump hasn’t mentioned it since his speech at the convention. However, according to Trump surrogate and all-round moron Jack Kingston, the deportation force is on. In fact, Donald bragged to a crowd of lots of white people in Iowa on Saturday that he will wave his tiny fingers and get rid of all the criminal immigrants within an hour of his taking the oath of office (I am not making this up), while Donnie, Jr. the Elephant Killer says Daddy is going to take baby steps. Anyway, Trumpelthinskin apparently has the magic prescription that will end the immigration problem in this country. And, tell me, who better to dispense that medicine?
From The Fix at The Washington Post:
Ted Cruz doesn’t care if John Boehner hates him. He likes it.
Ted Cruz is running for president.
No, he hasn’t announced it yet. But if you can tell a man by his actions […].
The latest example […] came Wednesday, when WaPo’s Bob Costa reported that Cruz was actively encouraging conservative House Republicans to oppose the spending bill pushed by Boehner aimed at addressing the crisis of undocumented children crossing at the southern border.