Finding Integrity is Like Pulling Teeth

From TALKING POINTS MEMO:

A congressman-elect from Arizona has hired a retired Wasilla dentist closely tied to former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his chief of staff.

Rep.-elect Paul Gosar (R-AZ), himself a dentist, hired Rob Robinson as his top aide, Roll Call reports today. Palin endorsed Gosar after Robinson, a political friend of hers, introduced them.

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The Saga of Bristol and Levi

Since Bristol Palin decided to shake her derriere on Dancing With the Stars, she and her mother can’t bellyache about her being a private person and, therefore, immune from scrutiny. I thought we’d take a look at the love story that was Bristol and Levi Johnston. It begins, I suppose, with what the two were doing right under the noses of Princess Sarah and Toddy, Fundy Christian Abstinence-only Parents of the Year…

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Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Batshit Goopers Incorporated!

Kids, have you heard? There might be a remake of the old sitcom, Laverne and Shirley, in the works. From The Boston Globe:

Director Garry Marshall has told TV Guide that a few of the stars his flop “Valentine’s Day” may be teaming up in a film version of popular 70s TV show “Laverne & Shirley.” Marshall said Ben Affleck’s bride Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel would star in the film. “Jamie (Foxx) and I are trying to do it,” Marshall said. “He’s writing it. It’s a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley.” On the show, Laverne was played by Penny Marshall and Shirley by Cindy Williams.

Oh hell. If they’re going to rehash the show, I think it should be a little more relevant as to what’s going on in the country. I can think of 2 broads who would be much better than Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel. Behold, Lashrew and Squirrely!

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Payback is a Real Bitch, but so is Princess Sarah!

From the Anchorage Daily News:

Levi Johnston, the former fiance of Gov. Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol, on Thursday joined the crowd offering up potential reasons for Palin’s decision to step down.

Johnston met with reporters to say that he heard her musing about a better life, one in which she could spend more time at home, reduce her stress, and accept the lucrative offers coming her way.

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The only thing she doesn’t quit is quitting!

From Michael Carey at the Los Angeles Times (Op-Ed):

Reporting from Anchorage — Sarah Palin’s career as governor of Alaska is over. So is her barely begun career as a serious presidential candidate. The road map to the White House doesn’t include a stop at “I quit.”

In a truly Palinesque moment near the end of her speech in Wasilla on Friday, the departing governor quoted a saying she said her parents kept on their refrigerator. “Don’t explain: Your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.”

The governor might have done better to take her cue from another piece of refrigerator wisdom: “Quitters never win, and winners never quit.”

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Campaign Pain

(Note: This post was put together before the breaking news today that Princess Sarah has resigned.)

(CBS) The tension between Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and top McCain campaign aides in the closing days of last fall’s presidential campaign is elucidated in a profile in the new issue of Vanity Fair.

…snip…

Internal campaign e-mails exchanged three weeks before Election Day offer a rare look at just how frustrated then Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin had become with the manner in which top McCain campaign aides were handling her candidacy. The e-mails, obtained exclusively, also highlight the power struggle and thinly veiled acrimony that pervaded the relationship between Palin and the campaign’s chief strategist, Steve Schmidt.

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Much Ado About Nothing

From The Washington Post:

Politicians do it all the time. Shock jocks, actors and athletes do. Even Bill O’Reilly has done it.

So why can’t David Letterman bring himself to apologize?

In another one of those delicious, you-know-you-love-it-even-as-you-roll-your-eyes media flaps, Letterman has been fending off an aggrieved Sarah Palin after she took offense at several of his late-night cracks.

Palin didn’t rise to the bait when Letterman derided the Alaska governor’s “slutty flight attendant look” on Monday’s show. But she did object when Letterman, satirizing the Palin family’s visit to New York and a Yankees game, said: “There was one awkward moment during the seventh inning stretch. Her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.”

Tasteless? Well, everyone seems to agree about that. Beyond that, you’ll get an argument.

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You Can Take That to the Snow Bank

From The Huffington Post:

While you read this, Alaska’s First Dude, Todd Palin, is riding a snowmobile — I’m sorry, snow machine — 1971 miles from Big Lake to Fairbanks. In the course of performing this awesome feat, his Arctic Cat’s powerful two-stroke engine will emit the same amount of hydrocarbons as an automobile driving from Chicago to San Francisco and back 150 times.

A small price for the rest of us to pay to honor the indomitability of the human spirit and one man’s ability to sit and hold on.

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